the wonderful world of ikys
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2010-06-26 16:25:23 (UTC)

Dating, relationships, and games pt.2

Well I did have a post originally called Jamar,Deshaun,Dan,Allen,Clark and etc's but I deleted it! I felt that it was no need to have it because they were all on some other stuff. Personally, I want a male who is gonna share strong chemistry, mental bond, emotional bond, and a spiritual bond before we become intimate. I think that it's better than that. A lot of times we try to make something out of nothing. What I mean by that is we try to make a relationship with someone we do not have a strong connection with or we do not share those elements that is needed. So I'm just gonna talk about some of those guys from the post I deleted. Now Jamar and me talked for about two months. We had chemistry but it wasn't strong enough. Me and Jamar are too much alike, I just look at him as a brother. What I did not like about him was his lifestyle, he couldn't be content with just talking to one female, he would always want sex and I turned him down, and he was too hood. Now Jamar is a wonderful friend because he encouraged me when I was going through some things, he helped me out a lot, but that's all we could be. I respect him because he texted me 3 days ago telling me that I was right about how he made what we were trying to do based off sex, he couldve tried to use me, but he would not have succeeded. Dan and me grew up together, so him and his twin sister moved and I found them on facebook. What is weird is that he messaged me on facebook asking for my number, but he was looking for booty so iplayed him to the left. Allen goes to school with me, but it was just a crush, I'm not attracted to him like I thought. Clark and William go to school with me, but I didn't want them because I wasn't attracted to them strongly. I just don't wanna fool with anyone that go to school with me. With school being out for break I wasn't talking to anyone at the time but Henderson and that was on some other ish. Henderson was a friend of mine that I met after cutting the kids loose at school. I chilled with him, lou, and jay at school because it was peaceful and no drama, plus they didn't like the kids either. To make a long story short about Henderson, I came to school late and lou left. Originally I was attracted to lou, but I gave Henderson my number and told him that I liked lou and to give my number to lou also.Henderson gave Raya his jacket on that thursday because she was cold and sick. He called me the next day and asked me to get it from her and the conversation went a different direction as usual. So I was noticing that he liked me and I asked him. Now to understand things better I gotta explain his attitude. Henderson use to be a gang member and get into a lot of trouble. He turned his life around, so now he into the vegan thing, don't like using the N word, likes natural looking black women, don't like black women who curse or smoke, was practicing islam/christianity, has a sort of a black power attitude, and very disciplined. He has very high respect for women and has his own definition of how a woman is supposed to act. So we talked on the phone for about a week and he claimed that he had two ex-fiance's and he is only 20, 3yrs younger than me, he said he was practicing celibacy until he marries. I noticed during our convo's that he would talk very sexual for someone who is celibate and supposedly is very positive. The next saturday we hung out and went back to my house. He started kissing me, feeling on me, so of course I acted back and then he left. I go to school next week and noticed a weird vibe so I wasn't around him. He called me that night and talked to me like I was in the wrong on saturday when he gave me mixed signals, so of course I wasn't gonna feel bad. He told me I offended him and he would never be with me and he felt outta place. So the next day I wrote a status about judging people on my facebook, I didn't tag him or put his name,of course he overdoes it again, calls me and tell me that he don't have time for drama so he deleted me off his friendslist. Of course I gave it to him in a nice way! We remained friends but I let him call me and I did not call him. So now we're cool but I talk and flirt with other guys but only 3 have my number. Henderson still talk nasty on the phone but I don't pay that any attention. He still likes me, which I knew, but I also knew that the whole I am positive stuff was only gonna last for so long. He started cursing again like a sailor. Like I told him, you are human and change takes time, when you rush it you end up being worst than you were before. He cool peeps but I would not date him although we wants to hang out again. Then there was Montez! Montez thought he was slick! Game recognizes game. I seen him for some months at my job, he comes every friday and I always thought he was cute. One day he came in and my co-worker told him I liked him and he asked for my number. We texted all the time, exchanged pics, and got to know one another. He is 32 with 3 kids, he claim that he has an off/on girlfriend. He would try to text about sex but I would redirect the conversation all the time. We only talked on the phone 3 times, which was a red flag to me. I called him twice and he would send me to voicemail, I would question him about me thinking he has a girlfriend and he would avoid the question. We were suppose to go out and never did. He had an attitude when I would call him out on his shit and if I did not text back. All he wanted to do was text all damn day! So I nexted his ass! I called him and he sent me to voicemail again, so I texted him LOL and he asked me what was funny, I never texted back. I erased his number and pics! He didn't know that a male co-worker of mine was hipping me to the game...lol...dumbass! What's funny is that usually every friday he comes to my job, but yesterday he did not. I was so adult about the situation that I did not curse him, talk nasty or was upset about the situation. I gave him plenty of opportunities to be truthful, but he didn't. I even told him that we could be homies and he didn't like that, oh well! So now I'm still flirting and talking with guys but I'm chillin now! There are three dudes who have my heart, that is Derrell, Deshaun F, and Antonio. I will have a pot dedicated to Derrell to give more info! Deshaun F and me have been friends for 6yrs but got in touch a year ago, we cannot be together because he did have a girlfriend but they are done. He not ready for nothing serious, he is 33 with a good job and all. He is the reason I was able to date again after my attack. We are great friends, but he wants to sleep with me again after 6yrs and I don't! I love him and all but no! He is very respectful of me, we are highly attracted to one another, but it will not go anywhere. When I was going through things he was there, always speaking positive to me, I have learned a lot from him! Antonio is my first love from highschool! He has been there for me in so many ways! He was the first to break my heart and he was the first to apologize when we got older, he has also helped me spiritually. He is married to his kids mother so we cannot be together but he wanna sleep with me too...no! Him and his wife has had problems before the marriage! I will always keep those three around, I love them all!