34 and lost
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2010-06-24 22:50:49 (UTC)


Well I guess I will start by talking about me so if anyone
read any of this
your not just wondering what is going on. I am a 34 year
old woman.
Mother and student. I have been in a relationship with an
ok guy for the
last 3.5 years. Oh he has his problem and they have become
more and
more bothersome to me over the last year. I have always
been the one
who wants to make it all better and do it all. Then one
day I started to
see all the things I hate about him and he quickly became
ugly to me and
I do mean quickly. I tried to ignor my sudden change of
heart for a
while, but then I didn't want to spend even one sec. With
him and he
became clingy would not stop following me around. Then he
relized how
difficult it was for me to spend time with him so we
started fighting and
still haven't stopped. About 4 months ago I met a guy at my
school he is
cute not by far the best looking guy in the world, but
very cute. He is
short maybe 5'10" and I am 5'8" so I really didn't see me
liking him to
much. He has long blond hair, nice muscular build, soft
blue eyes and a
smile that is so genuin. Not my type at all... . As for
myself; I have long
dark aburn hair, bright green eyes, small but tone
build... . I would
normally go for the jock or a sharp dressed man in a suit.
But as we saw
each other everyday and started talking I started to like
him and my
friends all said this can only end badly..lol.. . Or what?
He is not your
type and what do you see in him anyhow? But it was his
silly smile, and
the way he could bring life to anything that made me like
hime so much.
In the mean time "Joe" the man I have been with for overy
3 years just
became more and more angery with me. At this point we had
not even
slep together in over 2 months. "Christen" the guy from
school asked me
to text him and I knew if I did he would have my number
and then call.
But I did and we began talking all the time we went to
lunch together
and then I told him about "Joe" and how I stayed with him
for the wronge reasons. You see "joe" got a tumor last
year and became very ill. I couldn't leave him while he
was going through so much. He did get better for a while
but then he started poping pills like crazy. What is the
diffrence, I just don't find him atractive in anyway. He
has the most negative personality, has to be mean all the
time and the bottom line is I just don't love him.
Christen asked me to go out with him again and I did. We
went to a nice dinner, then went to a movie. At the movie
he kissed me and we held hand for a while but I wanted to
know how I felt for sure and so I kissed him again and
then the next thing I knew we were making out in the car.
It never went any further than that. But when I returned
home.."joe" was up and angery as hell! Ready to fight! He
had been going though my stuff from school and found a
note that my friend had writen in class asking what was
going on with me and "Christen" and I had answered.