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2010-06-24 12:13:09 (UTC)

I'm Going To Miss You

My favorite uncle died this past Saturday. Yesterday, I
went to his viewing and now I'm about to get ready to get
ready to go to his funeral. I've been so upset about all
of this. He's actually not even blood but more like a
brother to my mom than her actual siblings. He was such a
great person and now I'll never get to see him again. I've
been so messed up lately about all of this. You see, I've
got all these regrets and I keep feel like I'm forgetting
something. I don't know what it is that I can't remember;
just that it's something that's important. I don't think I
can move on from this until after I answer these
questions. Like 'Did I ever hug him?', 'What did he think
of me?', 'Did he know how much he meant to me?', and 'How
did he say my name?'. These questions may sound wierd but
he was the closest thing I had to a father figure because
my own dad died before I was three. I just want to talk
about all of this with someone but I don't want to burden
anyone with my feelings because I can see that everyone
else is just as torn up on the issue. I feel alone right
now, like noone is going through the same thing. I know
that they'll all miss him just as much as me but I feel
out of place. I feel like, maybe, I don't have a place
right I'm just floating around without a
purpose for the most part.

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