Confessions of madness
2010-06-19 18:15:15 (UTC)

Hi, you are reading about a dead girl.

Im dead, deader then dead.
A good friend of mine (well shes a bitch but still) met a
guy at a slipknot gig and then they instantly started dating
and even though when i met him i cringed in attraction, i
painfully hid my emotions deep within because they were
happy and that was all that mattered. After a year and 3
months of them together things got hairy, Sixx as i shall
call him is a musician and because of his college course in
music, music is all hes ever wanted to do and by the end of
their relationship she made a clear statement "Me or the
Band.". That didn't end well for her as of course it was the
band he went for. She was distraut by this and she cried
every night and day, she wanted him back but in the end they
never got back as they ended up hating each other so much it
hurt them both. Sixx got over her pretty quickly and soon
after was dating another girl who is pretty much a groupie
to band. I shall call her C for now. They dated a little
while but you could tell they weren't really into each other
so much and by the end of their relationship C was very
violent and would constantly piss him off and then had her
ex-boyfriend come live in her bed every night and her ex one
night brought home a whole load of M-cat (Which is a pretty
dangerous drug, especially around my area) so Sixx, doing
what he thought best, told C's mum and then C had a go at
him for being so protective and that she didn't really want
to be with him but she couldn't make her mind up.
Anyway after all this i just ended up being good friends
with him as he had been to me and i supported him with
everything then a couple of days we got talking and he
mentioned how he'd always had his eye on me and how at my
birthday last year he almost split up with my friend because
he spent all night looking at me. Then yesterday while at
college we were out sitting in the grass and he asked for a
hug and while going into a hug our insticts kicked in big
time and we ended up kissing. At that point i got worried
but as the day went on we went back to our friend's place
(His name for intents and purposes is Mg) and things started
heating up at his place after an hour or so and i ended up
naked somehow, im still not sure how. Soon after the two
guys i was with were so horny they decided they would be up
for a threesome but honestly i was not happy about having
sex with Mg and i thought that we would all severly regret
what we had done in the morning. So i put them off, but Sixx
was determinded to not let me get through his fingers (no
pun intented) so we ended up getting very intimate on Mg's
sofa. Soon after Mg agreed to let us use his bathroom and
boy did we use it. We ended up breaking the towel rack and
bruised ourselves in various places. I almost blacked out
twice and we will both remember that night for a very long
Even though im usually fine with casual sex i had a real
differculty thinking that i was used only for sex with him.
But on the way back home he walked with me and in the end
asked if we could be more then friends so my stupid emotions
jumped at the chance of happiness so i agreed but i said i
wanted to talk to my friend (J) before anything went
further. Me and my stupid happiness.
So i am dead. Me and Sixx met up today in town and it was so
nice, i haven't been this happy for..a very long time. I
can't even remember when i was that happy. Hes one of the
nicest guys and everytime i see him my knees melt and my
heart surrenders to his every will.
I am extra dead. Like dead as door nails. When J finds out,
im going to be murdered.
I may start writing my will.