lilv13t402

Memories
2010-06-19 17:19:07 (UTC)

June 17, 2010 - Day Five: Friend to Friend Talk

Dear Diary,

My very last final went well. But I still had to edit my
final draft for my English class before turning it in. That
morning, while editing, I was also on Skype talking to Hung.
I had told him that I was coming over to rape his bed [an
excuse to just go over there but seriously.. his bed is
comfortable x)] but that I also had something to tell him.

After finishing my editing and turning in my research paper,
I hurried over to Hung's to have that talk with him. When I
was there though, I was really shy about telling him, so I
just kept it to myself for the most part. I had instead,
asked him to tell me stories when we were eating curry [I
told him a few myself]. But after we were done eating, we
were just sitting on his bed chilling to the music until I
said that the stories weren't what I wanted to tell him.
After that, it was hard for me to tell Hung because I was
reminded how intimidating Nghia had been when he wanted to
hear what I wanted to tell him. But this time, I had told
Hung to sit with me back to back, so that he could hear me
out. I told him everything that I had talked to my friends
last night. Things like how I was almost making it into a
game, how I don't want to use him as a rebound,.. How at
that moment, I only wanted him to be there for me as a
friend because I wasn't ready to start another relationship
and be committed but that I liked the feeling of how he's
been there to listen to me and suggest things for me. His
reply was that, he understands the situation, but he also
reminded me that his motto that with his previous
relationships, he won't fall so easily for a girl. But he
also mentioned that when I'm done letting go and have moved
on and still feel the same way about him then tell him.

I was glad that he accepted what I had told him. And I told
him that I'm glad that we can talk to each like good
friends. After that, it was awkward for like a minute, but
we returned to our goofy & pervy selves.

What I told him though, was that, at this time, I'd like to
get to know him as a friend. And that's what we did. I asked
him what kind of guy he is. Originally, I was going to ask a
friend to tell me what kind of guy he was, and that was what
we planned to do in person.. but at that moment, I knew that
of all people, I'd want to hear it from Hung about what kind
of guy he is. He said that he can't judge himself, and asked
me what I think of him at the moment.

To me, he creates an atmosphere that isn't suffocating. It's
less intimidating, and that's why I'm able to talk to him
about anything. He's caring in his ways that makes me feel
flustered and makes me want to just hug him because what he
does is what I expect.. Like when I burned myself, he got
ice and gave it to me to put on the burn. When I
accidentally poked myself with a pin that was on his floor,
he was concerned, even trying to grab my feet. Or like
little things like when I accidentally bump my head, he'd
rub the pain. That's how caring and sweet he is to me right
now. He's not controlling either, and I feel that I can have
my own space and time alone.

That's what I had told him. And I asked if he was a
committed person.. and if he had patience. His answer.. He
was hesitant to tell me, I guess. He worked around the
answer and told me about his past relationships. I didn't
ask anymore, because then I had to leave and get ready for
my college graduation.

I left him my glasses.. an excuse to come back.

I got home and got ready. I left early, and stopped by
knowing from him that his boys would be over there to play
games. I got there, and I was really happy. I liked the
atmosphere around all of them even though I was watching and
not playing with them.

After that, I left for graduation.. Picked up one of my
friend, Malen, and we both went to graduation together. She
asked me about my situation.. She was shocked and even mad.
But she agreed with my other friends that I need time to
take things slowly now since I haven't moved on yet. She
reminded me to catch myself if I ever find myself comparing
either two guys. Lol. ^^

But yes, SSCC graduation was fantastic! I was happy, and I
wasn't going to let the shit in my life ruin it. I have my
family and my friends to root me on. That's why, I love
them. ^^ "You're progressing." Malen had told me. ^^ And
yes, I agree with her. It will be easier to move on this
time. :)

I have only walked half of my life.. meaning, Tomorrow is
another day...

- Janie




Ad: