MzMaryJane

Who I Be
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2010-06-15 03:39:37 (UTC)

If I didn't kow then, I do now..

Well its officially after three years we're over. It kills
me, but i can't live like this. I'm sure its going to hurt
and it wont feel much better once i leave, but time will
heal those wounds (i hope). It'll kill me if i stay here
and put up with his shit any longer, and if it dosent kill
me then i'll simply go insane.

i grew up in a broken home, so i hate that i braught a
child into the same thing. ut the one thing i remember
about my childhood is that i prayed my mother would leeave
that man, when she did at first we missed him, but we knew
we couldnt go back. This time there's no going back either.
I need to do this for and for Jacob.

I hate it so much that at thiss very moment i wanna forgive
hiim, i want him to tell me that itll be better and that we
can do this! GOD! Why cant he just love us the way hes
supposed too? why cant hee just be what a girlfriend and a
son needs?

But he's not. he cant take his kid to the park or even in
the yard. Its a fight for a ride to the grocerystore or
even walmart to get pullups. He blow ten grand in credits
cards but he still has money to get drunnk but i dont get
shoes. He lives for the tv and drinking on weekends and
never wants to do anything family oriented.

Soo here I am, all alone witha two year old, no home, no
job, no boyfriend or father for my son. But everyone great
had to start from somewhere right? So, here i go, its going
to be hard, and im going to be tired, but hopefully at some
point, ill get to be happy again.


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