Dr. Puppet

Bomb in a Birdcage
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Ezoic
2010-06-13 01:17:47 (UTC)

Ben

I think about him the way he was right before I kissed
him. I can see in my mind exactly how he looked. I see his
beard, unshaved. His eyes, my favorite place to look. I
remember how I scanned my eyes over his face, taking in
every detail. I remember looking at his lips and knowing
no matter the consequences, this won't be a mistake. Then
I remember the ways I've lost him because of it. And I
wanna scream, but my throat won't arouse a sound. I wanna
cry but my tears number few. I wanna cut my arms til they
are shredded and covered in my blood, but I can't make
myself find the blade. I want to dies, and this one thing,
I CAN do. A quick overdose and I'm free. No more pain from
remembering. He won't have to worry about me loving him
anymore because I won't be around. Everything will be
fine. I just have to make the time. No one has any idea
how one rejection from the one person that you'd give
everything to could hurt so much. Bu I WON'T hurt anymore.


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