Houdita

a Lonely Girl's Life !
2010-06-09 14:31:15 (UTC)

Welcome to My Sad Life !

Hi ! my name is Houda 15 years old a student at high school
i'm an ordinary girl Living an ordinary life but full of
problems , full of sadness , i can't even remember When was
the last time I feel happy ,but what's making it hard for
me is that i don't have anyone on my side supporting me and
loves me and make me smile when i'm crying ! that's why i
feel so lonely .My parents are always fighting for stupid
reasons , soo they decide to seperate . my fathr is a very
kind person i love him soo much ! he always ask me if i'm
okay if he saw me sad !he's always searching for a way to
make me feel happy , but after those problems between him
and my mother i don't see him alot , once or twice in a 15
day . but when i'm talking to him i feel so happy even if
he's not on my side . My life with my mom is a mist , she
hits me for stupid reasons and sometimes i don't even know
why ! she makes me hate her , and that's how i feel about
her ! sometimes i wish she die ,but i still have that light
of love in my heart even it's not strong but it's there ,
she's not doing her occupation as a mum she doesn't care
about me she talks to me only if she wants me to do
something for her , that's why i wish i had a better mum
loves me and understand me like my father does.she Treated
me cruelly . I do not remember when the last time she hugs
or kissed me. she loves my sisters and my brother more than
me even if i'm the little one ! she hits me if i don't do
what they want me to , and when i'm fighting with them she
blames me even if it wasn't my fault. And now i'm crying
everyday because of all of that , i just wanna live a
beautiful life i just wanna be happy , but i think that's
impossible , if that is my destiny i can't say no .But i'm
loosing my patience .

As a student i'm a good one i'm hardworking , my dream is to
be an enginner soo i'm doing my best to have a high notes ,
my study is my hope to live better in the future to release
all what i'm dreaming of now and i can't make it true i want
to Purchase ingredient teeth because now i don't have enough
money for it , and i wanna buy alot of clothes and be rich
and wear famous designer's clothes !and live a better-off life !
i have no friends , well i had some friends but they hated
me they always criticized the way I look , coz i'm not
beautifull ! and that makes me loose confidence in my self ,
sometimes i say why those girls have everything they want
they're rich they're pretty and i don't have anything good
in my life ! i don't have time to care about my Appearance
coz i study alot , i don't put make up when i'm going to
school i tink they're stupid things for selly girls and i
have many importants things to do more than that ,
but i'm just convincing myself that i'm better than those
girls because I am a girl inside me wants to be beautiful
and popular and successful and evryone loves me , but
everytime i try to i get hurt . i thought that if i'm
hanging out with those girls i'm gonna be beautiful and
successful like them but i only get hurt by them . soo i
decide to stay lonely no friends no nothing !my best friend
is my self that's what i discover recently !
I guess I indulged in my pain , and I started to express
everything inside me! soo i'm gonna say goodbye to my Diary
and go to my real life and face the struggles as i use to !
i wish that oneday evrything changes to better ! soo i can
live a beautiful life and be happy forever !
By: The Lonely Girl !


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