BT0809

Annorexia
2010-06-04 13:17:51 (UTC)

Day One

I am struggling with anorexia, or i think that i am. For
the past six months i have been feeling self hatred towards
my body. i want to be very very skinny, i dont want to eat
or gain any weight. I want to lose weight.

I will begin this, i will stop eating and if i have to eat
it will only be small items like bannanas, nuts, water etc.
things low in sugar. i have tried throwing up but i dont
have a very good gag reflex so this doesnt work.

Then i will fall off my plan a tiny bit and hate myself
because of it. its driving me insane and this is all i
think about. i am constantly looking at pictures of very
skinny girls and wishing that i was them.. I dont want to
look sick anorexic. just very very skinny. if any of this
makes sense to you... my boyfriend hates it when i dont eat
and i can understand that he is looking out for me but this
is what i want.

I am going to knuckle down and really try hard at this
now... ONLY EAT WHEN I REALLY REALLY HAVE TO! and then only
very low kilojule products.

- BT0809


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