110notgoodenough

I Want To Be Skinny
2010-05-14 22:26:33 (UTC)

The Best Day Ever... kind of

Today, I woke up groggily, but happy.
I had slept in, it was noon by the time I got up. I had nothing better to do so I
cleaned my messy room. (Now you can see the floors!) Then I watched some
TV. I ate 2 pop tarts. Then later, I had about 10 bites of pita with hummus.

I decided to take a shower. My friend is convinced that you absorb the water
through your skin and It makes waterweight or whatever. I fail to believe that
crap, I'm taking a shower. At first I took a bath. I filled it up with the hottest
water it would go. it felt nice. I had taken my book in with me so I read for
half an hour in there. Then I drained the water and took a shower.

I just stood there. thinking. How badly do I want to be thin? And I realized, i
really really REALLY want this, but I dont have the willpower to. I don't have
the will power to stick to any diet, I don't have the willpower to just say "i'm
not going to eat anything today!" I always break down. I wish I was stronger.
hell, I wish I was just skinny to begin with.

I mean, I know I'm skinny already. i just need to be skinniER. I also haven't
been doing the sit ups I promised myself I would do every day. Anyone
reading this have any good willpower ideas? inspiration? help? just asking...

I weighed myself today.

110.4 pounds.

same weight I was before...
help me? I mean, I AM happy. but I just keep thinking... I'm entering my new
school In 4-6 months. I want to be the pretty skinny one everyone envies.
How will I accomplish my goal of 95 pounds, when I cant even break 100?
There is a freshman at my old school. She weighs about 100-105 pounds. I
asked. I'm ashamed. I should weigh less than her. I havent started swimming
yet, but when I do, lets hope it really helps me with this.

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS:
months until new school: 4-6 (november/october)
months until my friends party: 3 (august)

suggestions?
anyone want to be partners in crime? =) email me and we can lose weight
together! [email protected]




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