A daily confession
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2010-05-12 20:54:24 (UTC)

Past 6

On that talk on the kitchentable my father used great
words like that we all have to talk like adults together
and that we are already big and that from now on we share
the responsibility. That this house is democratic and that
we should like adults sit together and say if we don't
like something.
All that sounded good of course but it was only said to
disguise that we are slaves from that day forth.
After school on lunchtime we would come home and then I
had we had to either make salade sauce, or wash the salade
and set the table. That's how it started... soon my
brother and I had to cook lunch. Even if it was just
spaghetti with sauce... when I was 8 or 9 I did that in my
In the beginning dad washed the dishes and my brother and
I would dry and remove them. more and more dad didn't help
cleaning up anymore. Until shortly after it became natural
for him that we would do the washing and cleaning up. Mind
you sometimes we had only 90 minutes break between
classes. We came home from school had to cook, wash up and
go back to school and the school was not exactly next door
I had to learn to clean toilets, hoover floors, clean
windows, clean bathrooms and do laundry.
Looking back it was too much responsibility that has been
placed on our shoulders. It is just that in the moment you
are in the situation you survive it somehow.
My father was impossibly impatient and if we didn't do
something right straight away he would call us stupid and
idiots. the thing was he also didn't help us then to do it
or show us how it is done he would just stand there look
and say do it over! Are you stupid? Can you not get it
right? If we would not succed he would either yank us away
or tell us to get lost and do it angrily himself. And of
course the get lost didn't mean we were dismissed from the
duty! we had to stand behind him and watch him do the
things that we idiots failed in. And to top it off we had
to thank him that he showed it to us.
When I was 10 I was able to fix my bike myself because my
father found it unnessesary to bring a bike to a mechanic.
only if it was something that needed to be replaced. You
may think that is nice and cool to fix your own bike but I
just wanted like every other girl to bring it and get it
back fixed. Not sit there for hours and try to fix it,
then have to ask my father who would make a bad comment.

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