Cheyenne Flint

Jumbled and Scraps of Thoughts
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2010-05-12 15:18:01 (UTC)

My House

I live in a house where people can't express their love,
they are too selfish. How will it make me look, weak? How
will it make me seem, like a punk? I said I'm not having a
relationship with you, I can't change my mind I'll look
stupid. Me. Me. Me.....

I live in a house where I don't get hugged, I don't get
kissed, rarely smiled upon, when i laugh nobody laughs with
me. And these are the people that love me.

How do I do it, day in and day out? Yesterday the people
that love me....said no words to me, except one did
complain because I forgot they had practice so I was late.
the other, when I came home said 10 words to me the entire
night. Nothng, You can eat whatever you want, and No, the
game. These were all answers to questions I asked,
otherwise I'm sure they would have said nothing to me.

So I ate alone, watched TV alone, and went to bed alone. I
know I'm dying inside, I actually feel it. I look in the
mirror and I see it. My eyes sad, even when my lips curve.
I don't even recognize myself, who are you I asked that
woman in the mirror today, she just looked back...blank.

Daily I fight like a warrior to stay alive inside, the body
wants to live and enjoy life. So I stand and fight. The
arrows keep coming, fiery arrows, with intentions to
fatally wound.

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