Sera L Rose

Thought and Faith
2010-05-12 05:32:27 (UTC)

Just talking

So, I'm worried....about a lot of things actually. My heart
hurts, and at the same time it flutters excitedly. I'm torn
and tired and...well maybe I should explain, in order.

I'm worried and scared. I'm about to make a big descision. I
bought a ring and I plan to ask my girlfriend to marry me. NOt
now, of course, we've only been dating four months. I worry
that we're making a mistake. I worry that when we change,
because we inevitably will, we will no longer be suited for
each other. I worry we will marry having no commonality after
a year and half apart. I think that is my biggest fear....the
fear of giving myself that hope and that everything fall
apart. The fear of hurting her when she deserves every
happiness. They say to live in the moment but....but what if
the moment....I don't know. I suppose it doesn't matter. I
suppose what will come will come.

I sometimes worry that we need each other to much. If we don't
need each other, can we still relate to each other? I love
her...I do....I just worry I guess...

But I love her, and th ebiggest part of me is excited to share
my life with her. I don't know what that will entail but...but
I'm still excited. I'm excited to wake up next to her, to eat
breakfast with her. Cuddle on the couch and watch a movie.
Take vacations, showers, naps, walks and everything else.
Raise children together......It will be amazing I think...I
just have to get over my own fear of us failing.




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