Kenophobia

Kenophobia
2010-05-01 23:32:06 (UTC)

Sorry

I'm sorry for what I do.
im sorry im so mean to you.
you lift me up when im down.
but alot of the times
im hiding my pain.
covering it up by making you feel bad...
pushing you away..
i have a hard time...
i know you believe you understand but
i really know you dont.
nobody does.
everythings a different situation.
im sorry im not as perfect as you believed me to be.
i love you i do.
thats no lie.
i dont mean to hurt you
but i do.
im sorry.
i dont deserve you..
and sometimes i think it should be over.
im too much to handle.
too many problems too many issues.
im a nuissance i tell you.
but you insist on us.
and i love that you do.
because life would suck wothout you.
youre my baby, my life.
i hate admitting to that.
my life revolves around you.
i know im jealous, but i dont want you to leave...
like everyone else has.
i cry as i think this,
i know you hate my jealousy but
i honestly cant help it.
its a terrible thing i know.
but he left me, she left me and so did she.
Now the last she is useless, powerless.
everyones gone, youre the only one left.
and if you were to leave,
my life would be dead.
thered be no more me.
as i would cease to exist.
not really, but emotionally.
i hate what i do.
im sorry im impossible.
i dont mean to be.
dont try and make me feel better,
just listen to me.
agree with me.
dont give up please...
please.
everyones given up...but not you too
please...
its so hard to think about life without you.
I just want you to listen and agree.
even if im not right...agree...
thats all i need.
words only help temporarily..
the only way to permanently fix me
is by having a time machine.
and thats not going to happen...so just leave me be. and
agree.
either way,
im sorry
im sorry for how i am
and how i do,
its hard to change
but im trying to
just for you.
i'm sorry love
im sorry.




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