my thoughts

My Journey
2010-04-30 07:30:59 (UTC)

more thoughts

I just had to write again before I attempt to go to bed. I
guess I still had stuff floating around in my head and I
want to write it down. Maybe some day I will want to come
back and read it, remember what I was thinking or how I was
feeling.

I usually read some of the entries on this diary site
before I put the laptop up for the night. There are a few
from the same writers that I read nightly. I have read
them from the first entry and have read every entry since.
Others I read at random depending on what the title for the
day is.

What amazes me the most is what others are thinking, what
is going through their minds. For the most part, it is
comforting to know that I'm not the only one who thinks or
feels a certain way about certain things. I guess in the
scheme of things, it's mostly just human nature. We all
seem to have insecurities, longing, feelings of loss, anger
at times, frustrations.

Have you ever been sitting at a red light, or maybe in a
parking lot waiting on your passenger to return from the
store and watched other people? Maybe they are walking or
sitting in a car themselves, or staring at the light
waiting for it to change , and wonder what they are
thinking?? No, I'm not talking stalker-ville here, just
wondering what they might be thinking. We all do it. Or
at least I do. Is that other person thinking about what
their plans are for the rest of the day? Or maybe they are
thinking about a fight they just had with their spouse,
brother, sister, etc. Maybe they are in a hurry and trying
to remember if they cut the dryer off when they left their
house. Maybe they are thinking about what a jackass their
boss is and telling themselves they are going to quit and
find another job or maybe they are thinking about a love of
long ago.

I read some of the entries here and my heart hurts for the
ones who write their thoughts. A lot of what I read I have
experienced myself and I know how it feels. I know how it
feels to not have someone to talk to, so I find myself
writing it here. It's just easier sometimes too. This
screen won't judge me, it won't talk back, it won't tell me
what I don't want to hear. Sometimes I don't need a pat on
the back and words that tell me it will all be alright.
Yes, sometimes I do, but, I'm not willing to share some of
these thoughts face to face with another to get that pat on
the back. So, I write. For me, it helps sometimes to just
ramble, get my thoughts transferred from my head to the
screen and move on for the day. I know that come tomorrow,
I'm sure I'll have more thoughts that confuse me, anger me,
fill me with sorrow, or just make me feel at peace. One
day at a time. That's how I'm trying to make it. until
later....




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