The quiet is deafening
Well, I'm at home. Been cleaning up so I can stay somewhat
not so depressed. Work is so busy. I guess I'm glad that it
is so I can take my mind off of the crap happening at home.
I still get text messages from ex. Saying stuff like she
misses me. Another one said she can't imagine us being with
other people. WTF????!!!!
She is at her bf's house under his roof! Actually, their
roof. I don't know how the f she can even send me
something like that!! I really think something is mentally
wrong with her or maybe she is possessed.
Today, she sent me another text saying she missed me. She
called but I didn't answer. Then later in the afternoon, she
sent another text saying that she sees that I have chosen
another path. Again, I say WTF is that?!
She is living with her bf!!! She needs to stay faithful and
just stick with him. I believe she chose when she left!!!
How can anyone say I chose or they miss me when they go to
sleep under the same roof?
Last I checked, I didn't have loser stamped on my forehead!
I guess I really need to scrub my forehead better when I shower.
She even tried telling me that he sleeps in a different
bedroom!!! Now some of these are so stupid I almost have to
laugh!! I'm suppose to believe that a man under the same
roof with a woman he used to fuck and had an affair with
will not want to fuck her anymore?
Later, she sent me a text saying that we can be friends.
Hell fucking no!!!! My friends don't do things like that to me.
On top of that, I have to deal with being alone when I get
home. I'm still not used to it. I'm a very personal guy and
love to share my day and listen to how others day went. I
guess I'm asking for too much.
There are some positives to this though. I still have not
spent more than 20 bucks for dinner since they split. Toilet
paper seems to be reproducing. Well, at least it's not
disappearing as fast as it used to.
There are no dirty dishes in the sink when I get home. It's
so nice that I have to repeat myself. There are no dirty
dishes in the sink anymore.lol
I don't have to empty the trash everyday anymore. House even
smells better now. Maintaining the laundry, dishes and
general overall cleaning is so easy and not a project anymore.
Since I don't have the kids in the back of my car, I went
ahead and had my car detailed. I must say, it looks damn
good again. Not new but very clean. I helps make me feel a
little better about the situation I'm in.
I still hurt a lot and my mind goes through so much
thoughts to the point I feel exausted and sick.