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2010-04-25 08:17:43 (UTC)


Here we go again.. After all I've ever wanted, it goes back
down the drain. The simple stuff that makes me happy in life
just disappears because of others. I shouldn't rely on
others to make me happy or sad or whatever but it just
happens. I thought my sister would learn from the past 8
years of mistakes that she has a life a head of her and she
would change. I guess people really don't change unless they
have the will to do so. She's the one I've looked up to my
whole life and now.. I'm just pretty much alone and broken
into pieces. I've gotten to the point where I don't care
what happens to her anymore 'cause I'm only depending on
myself nowadays but now I have time to put myself into
'think' mode, I start to realize this is really useless. I
knew this would happen one she got out of jail last time and
started stripping, drinking everyday almost, and moving
around. *sigh* I don't have much family left and I just want
to keep who I've got around as long as possible. This year
sucks, I've lost so many people that I care about. I mean I
know it happens but I never thought this would happen to
someone like myself who cares about everyone. I hate this
feeling, I feel alone a lot of times and I just can't stand
it anymore. I don't know, I'll be fine later.. Funny, I
always say that. Whatever.

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