lilv13t402

Memories
2010-04-18 22:26:55 (UTC)

April 18, 2010 - No Name Thoughts

Dear Diary,

Sometimes,
the feeling of wanting to break away..
seems like a greedy motive,
but a must have to endure pains by
pulling away and think things over.

Sometimes,
pulling away is not the answer..
because others will be hurt,
and the one pulling away
will be thrown into the bits of hell,
wondering, Why did I do this?

It hurts sometimes to pull away or to not pull away... There
are people stuck in between and it's hard for them to
distinguish between what is right and wrong for them to do.

If only faith were put to its max in everyone of us, maybe
we wouldn't feel these protruding insecurities in our damned
minds.

Like feelings, if we harbor it wrong, we tend to feel the
wrong things. But even if we do harbor it wrong, it's like
saying we all make mistakes. It's okay to harbor it wrong,
and it's okay to add a twist like trust what is being felt
not what is being made up to be felt.

It's scary.. and it hurts when we have those weird feelings
towards those made up thoughts. Like.. what if this
happens.. or what if that happens.. How can we as
individuals survive such a cruel act that our minds create?
They give one butterflies and churns one's stomach and makes
one's eyes tear up, and makes one wonder, Why must my mind
think up such cruel thoughts to make me feel this way?

It's scary.. if only thoughts didn't make me feel this way..
I wonder what it is that I can't name or pinpoint. Or maybe,
because I buried it so deep because I'm scared to throw it
out there.. I wonder what it is that makes me feel this way.

Sad.....

© 04/18/2010 by Janie Huynh




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