blueberry

Confessions of a married woman
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2010-04-15 16:29:13 (UTC)

Friends and Losses

I hadn't been to Coco's house since S's babyshower. The
feeling when I step into her house is undescriable. It
seems so crowded and joyful with the children, yet such
emptiness. I can't imagine how much Coco, Sam and the kids
miss their daughter/mother and of course her how much my
friends S and A miss their sister.
The girls Andy and Sophie seem
happy but I'm sure they are hurt more than we know and
see. I mean how can they not? They will never see their
mother again. Thier mother is now just an image in their
head and pictures, it is so devistating how they talk
about their mother in present tense, "My mom has this, my
mom has that", the one that made me cry when my sister
told me when she spent alone time with them while Coco and
I went to the supermarket was the lil one Sophie told my
sis "My mommy and Auntie S help me read big words" my
sister told me that the lil one was talking to herself
telling "someone" (I believe her angel mother) how much
she didn't want to talk to Laura because she asked her too
many questions and that everyone looked at her funny, my
sister said she felt like crying but she held back and
made herself as strong as she could, that she was more sad
than frightened. They totally let go to my lil sis and I
think that put my sister in an odd situation, she kept
coloring and choking back her tears. I think those kids
need professional help to help them cope with the loss of
her mother. I guess I should talk to A, she is the most
understanding although the most hurt as well. S is very
strong and hides her feelings very well at N's mother's
wake she didn't shed one tear, she seemed fine and
throughout the words of N and her sister speech she had no
emotional feed back almost as if she didn't have any
sympathy. N and M's words totally made me teary eyed and
I cried. But at the funeral when they were burying N's
mom that is when Sandra let go and showed her Empathy to
Nidia, she was sobing and thats when I knew that yes my
friend is strong but she is still hurt (of course and will
always be hurt) because of her sister. Sad stories I tell
you. Some good some bad, in the end that is what life is
about, gains, losses, happiness, sadness... what would
this valley of tears be with out those?


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