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2010-04-15 06:18:40 (UTC)

Dazed and Confused

After an enormously tumultuous year last year, you would
think I might have recovered by now. My self esteem is at
an all-time low. My confidence is shot. I have been a poor
father, husband, Christian, son, brother, uncle and friend.
My self inflicted problems have taken over my life and I
can't seem to get the never quit happiness attitude back. I
am fairly certain that it is due to my falling away from God.

I suppose that is where I must start to turn things around
and start living my life like I know I should. I truly
don't feel sorry for myself and my ingrained personality
keep me from doing anything harmful or reckless, but I can't
seem to get involved in life like I should. I'm starting to
believe that, though I always have the best of intentions, I
have poor judgment on some of the most important things in
life. The really hard part is that I don't know how to
improve that.

Again, it goes back to my relationship with God. Throughout
life, I have always been the most happy when I am keeping
Him in the forefront.

This is where I start again.

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