Ninale

Ventt
2010-04-04 17:17:14 (UTC)

The day after the phone call with her

Well it's like ten and waking up is like torture for me . I laid here for like
five minutes just facing that we can't do anything at all anymore . But I'm
fine with that . Things are gunna change between us, I know . But I just
have to face it . I don't want you to lose feelings for me . Honestly . But
it's something I have to face . Well yeahh I wish I could sleep forever . I
never wanna wake up anymore . Life is so hard on me . Family problems
, sister , school , love , life ! F my life forreal but I still gotta stand up and
fight thru everything . I wanna grow up and be successful so no more of
this drug shit after summer . Absolutely nothing except for drinking at
partys that's all . No smoking no weed no pills nothing at all . I need to
pull myself together . Do it for Karen leilanie and my buddy . But enough
of that I always wished " she " didn't exist so that I wouldve been by your
aide the whole time . I remember when you told me you wished you met
me before her . Well things happen . Your with her. And I should be
happy with my life not having to worry about my feelings about you
because it's allsaid and done . Haha makes it sound like a couple
butyeahh . Well freshman year equals fuck up and summer . Sophmore
and junior equals work hard to get to college . Senior equals have fuckin
fun ! Then college then my own life . When that happens I can't do drugs
absolutely not . I don't want my kids to see me like that like I'm a drug
dealer ya know ? I Wonder if I'm ever going to have kids :p but that's all I
wanted to talk about this morning . Good day diary !




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