From Student Nurse to Wife
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2010-04-02 23:07:51 (UTC)

The worst part about being me...

The worst part about being me is that I'm horrible in new
situations and around new people. Take tonight for
example. I'm going out with my friend to celebrate her
birthday. This should be a time when I'm excited, busily
getting ready and looking forward to the event. In
actuallity, I'm sitting at my computer (obviously),
wearing jeans and a crappy old t-shirt, in tears, counting
down the minutes until I have to drag myself out of my
chair, force myself to put on something presentable and
drive to somewhere I don't want to be with people I don't
know; and those I do know, I don't like.

I hate being forced into situations where I don't know
people and I'm expected to mingle. I'm sure there will be
a bunch of wirdos there, which seem to make up the general
majority of her friends. Her boyfriend is probably the
biggest loser I have ever met (and I've met some
dooseies). He is the stereotypical stoned-out surfer you
see in stupid movies. Picture Jay from Jay and Silent
Bob, but with curly hair and a surfer style of dress...
that's him. The only other person I might know there is a
common friend, but I'm sure he'll bring his girlfriend who
I don't know well and the one time we met, I didn't get a
very good feel for. I know it's going to suck. I feel
like I need to go out of obligation because she's doing me
a HUGE favor by coming all the way across the country to
be in my wedding. I feel like I owe her way more than
sitting at a dreadful dinner that is WAAAYYY outside my
budget being forced to talk to people I want nothing to do
with for an hour or two, but let's face it.... I really
don't want to. I'm going to have to go alone, too,
because my fiance already lined up jobs by the time we got
a really late notice invitation; though I can't really
blame him. Then on top of it, she goes and moves it later
in the evening. In retrospect I should have told her I
couldn't make it, because I have to get up at 5:30 a.m.
tomorrow (SATURDAY) which is far more early than any
person should have to wake up on a Saturday. I know it's
going to be nothing short of horrible, but maybe since I'm
already spending a small fortune on dinner, I'll splurge
on a glass (or four) of wine to take the edge off. Who
knows. Whatever. It's only an hour, right?

Wish me luck...