randiham

Randi
2010-03-31 22:26:14 (UTC)

??

Hmmm .. today it's hard to say what I'll feel tomorrow.
I've never been completely committed to anything in my
life: boyfriends, school, friends, work. There is always a
reason I can justify in my mind to why I shouldn't or won't
give my all.

I was in-love once up until this point and even then I set
myself up for failure, testing every step to see if it
would be worth giving so much of myself to someone else ..
he affected me so deeply and provided so much
introspection and inspiration. I was a sixteen year old
drug abuser who in one sense knew nothing and the other
everything. He knew my soul which was terrifying. I lied
just to seem mysterious and interesting because who would
possibly love someone like me? I didn't know and I didn't
care. The best I thought I could expect was to find someone
that I could love and make a difference to. God knows I
enjoyed unconsciously searching out the weak knowing that I
had something to give them to make them strong.

Uncompleted ..




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