Experienced Life
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2010-03-31 12:17:06 (UTC)

My loving beeeatch!

Man, my cum dumpster is so fucked! She pretends to love me
and want to stay with me. Yet, she has her phone she never
lets me see or use because I think she still texts or call's
her supposed ex-boyfriend. Man, I'm too old and too tired of
it. I know I can't take all this crap. I don't know how
someone can even live their life like that trying to sneak
around. I told her straight that I was tired of it all and
why she doesn't just split and live with him instead?

Today she was going to have a biopsy to follow up on a
procedure she had months ago. I was trying to be nice and
said I would take her to the doc and sh said no because she
had to go back to work right after the checkup. "OK" is said
and told her " I can meet you there at the office and wait
for you". She now clams up and says no again. Then it hit me
that she already had plans to have her "friend" go there
with her. She denies it but this is her M O.

I've busted her before with her hands across the table
holding my hands while she said "If you can't trust me, how
can this relationship work". Then I found out later that
she was having a long term relation with this other guy for
over a year!

She is good at lying. I figure we both have two seats waiting
for us in hell when we die. I just get mad at myself for not
running away from all of this. She is the one that comes
back begging to be with me. I was ready to let it go.

This last time she had a fight with her man and left him
after playing house with him for two weeks. She found out he
was psycho. I don't think she realizes that she too is a
little psycho.

If not for the kids, I would have been long gone. BTW, she
pretended to make believe they are mine but they aren't. She
had an affair before and they are not my bio-kids. They
don't know it but their father is not really their father.
The real father died a terrible death from some kind of
liver disease. I say you get what you deserve.

Karma is alive and well. I know what I'm saying what I say
that. I know that all this crap I'm having to deal with
balance itself out. What sucks is that I don't have anyone
to screw! Wife is fucked up wih her cunt problems She had
surgery down there and they botched her surgery so she is
still bleeding and in pain.

She also had braces done and her mouth is killing her with
those train tracks. So a women with two broken holes is
pretty much worthless to me right now.

I know I speak of her in a bad way but you don't know the
half of what happened to me.

I had a child with her and later found out she wasn't mine.
I forgave and forgot and years later, we had another child
This time I thought for sure I at least have a little legacy
showing I did something good in life. Well later on, her
new boyfriend tipped me off that this child is also not
mine. I did a DNA test and sure enough, the boy isn't mine.

This is just one incident in many incidents that has
happened to me due to my loving wife. Now I'm at a crossroad
of uncertainty. I feel I'm now too old to start over. My
heart is young and I feel that I'm a kid at heart. I look at
the mirror sometimes and still feel shocked and wonder who
that old fuck is at the other end of that mirror before I
realize that it's me.

I don't care. I can't stop being young at heart. If people
take advantage of my heart than they can be that way. I
don't care. Someday somehow someone will see me for what I
am and maybe like what they see. Maybe one day I can enjoy
life the way I want to share it with someone. A little
trust, honesty, caring, love in a relationship sure would be

That's not what I have right now though. So I just gotta
bear the brunt of this fucking storm and survive emotionally
and financially with this cum dumpster.

Later diary. Hope I don't grow up to scarred emotionally by
this bad person I call my wife or cum dumpster.

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