SpineshankTool

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2001-10-10 01:09:28 (UTC)

Music and the insperation

Mood: a little depressed
Music: Rammstein 'Nebel'

i've been writing tons lately. there's one song i'm still trying to
finish that i've had for a while. then i recently started a new one,
but i think i finished that one. then just earlier, i started a new
one. but it's more in the fassion of Static-X so, it was quick and
easy to finish. the first one i mentioned, i think i might dedicate to
my friends. oddly enough, it's a hard and heavy song. but that's
the way i choose to do a dedication song. none of these light
ballads. which rememinds me of another one i finished a few
days ago. it's not really a ballad, but it is soft. what's interesting
with it is, the keyboards are actually the lead instrument in the
song. so, yea. the one song in a Static-X style might be based on
this McDonalds commercial i saw earlier. the one where they're
singing all happy and shit. it's so gay. the chorus to the song
may be:

you want to see me smile.
just bleed for a while.
i want to see you die.
cuz you're full of lies.

yea. that may be the chorus. i may change it. and the other song
that i said might be finished, is very much in a Skinlab style. very
cool too. by the way. a message to my friends who read this. i
enjoy getting feedback from u. i haven't gotten feedback in a long
time. i'm not going to make a big deal out of it like i had been, cuz
this time it's to my friends. a few times i had to drag help out of u
guys. just saying that i'm feeling down hasn't gotten anything in
the past. i'm just telling u that i like getting feedback and u've all
seemed to have gotten out of habbit. get back into it. and i
noticed out of all my friends who use this, i'm the only one who's
really using these days. Lyz hasn't been keeping up very well,
Kitty seems to only use it for her stories. i mean, that's ok, but try
to put some of u'r feelings in too. and Chloe, geez, u've been out
of it for a while. but i can't really blame ya, hopefully u'll be using
this again. so, yea. ok, i think that's it. oh, yea. one more thing. on
a completely unrelated topic. this morning, something
happened. see, Chris barrowed my Mudvayne cd. then two
weeks later finally returns it, but without the case and it's got
spots all over it. then, a week later(today) brought the case. he
had it this morning, but then in humor, tossed it on the grass. so,
now it was wet. and it was freezing this morning, and Chris only
had a short sleeve on. he didn't have his sweater. but cuz he got
my cd case wet, i punished him by drying it on him. then
something unexpected happened. see, Matt's sister, Stephanie,
was there too. she's about the same age as Matt, i think. in the
10 grade, i think. but her and Chris never seemed to be real
friends or anything. but when i was trying to wipe the wet case on
him in the freezing morning, she yelled at me. she gave me this
cold look and said, "if he gets a cold, it's gonna be your ass i
come after." how can she hate me if she doesn't know me? it
hurt to realize that some people will hate me before they know
who they're hating. and also, it showed that obviously, she does
care about him after all. even though they don't really talk, thay
seem to have some sort of bond together for her to defend him
like that. it's that bond that i don't have with any one out here. if
some one were to start with me, no one is there on my side. i
have some friends, but i haven't made any sort of connection
with any one. probably the best friend i have out here so far, is
Andrew. he treats me like an equal, not an enemy. Chris and
Matt are more into picking on eachother and pulling cruel jokes.
Matt sprayed Sprite all over me and they thought it was funny.
and Steve is very hateful. he seems to have only made me a
friend so he can try to turn me against Chris, Matt, and my other
friend Austin. Austin's pretty cool. but, i just haven't made any real
connections with any one. i don't have that bond that Stephanie
and Chris have. even though they don't seem like much friends,
they must be. i don't really have anything to show for, for being
here so far.


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