The View From Down Here
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2010-03-31 00:42:58 (UTC)

3-30-10 Love, Love, Love

Love is complicated, irrational, and incredible. Though
it can also destroy you. I found out something about
Cameron today. He loves Ashley. He didn't tell me. I told
him about Ethan and he said he wished I'd told him sooner
and yet he's doing the exact same thing. I'm not so sure
he's the man I pictured him to be. He talks like I'm all
that matters and like he loves me irrevocablly. But that's
a lie. I don't know what to think, but at the moment I'm
not feeling so hot. She's a gorgeous girl and a model. How
am I supposed to compete with that? I can't. I'm not sure
I want to. She seems like a really nice girl and way to
good for me to let him leave her. I suppose I alwasy knew
Ethan was the right choice. I was given a sign. I was at
my worse and praying to god in the middle of a
thunderstorm. I was trying to get over a different guy
when I asked god what I should do. "Ethan" popped up on my
cell's screen. Since then I knew he was special. I didn't
think I'd love him, but I knew he was something. Maybe
he's the right choice and not Cameron, but my heart
doesn't want to believe that just yet. I should talk to
him and make sure I'm not overthinking things again, but I
think I seriously overestimated his love for me. I guess
I'll find out on the one day we can be together. Until
then I will wonder- as I always have. I'd write something
thoughtful about the world and it's problems, but I'm
dealing with my problems. So that will have to hold off
for a while. Until next time.

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