Singleagain

I really messed up

I lost my temper a few days ago when I went over and I saw
a lady's maxi pad in the washroom garbage. At first I was
hurt and I just couldn't stop crying and then the hurt
turned into anger and I blew up.

I pushed him and insulted him and accidently scratched his
face badly. I have never been violent with him in the
past and I know that when you cross a certain line you can
never go back. I feel horrible about the whole thing and
I'm not 100% sure that he knows that I didn't mean to hurt
him. I feel like I'm obsessed with him, all I do is think
about him and dream about him.

I want to be with him more than anything in this world. I
miss him like crazy and even though I try to act strong
I'm falling apart and I don't know how to deal with it.