The more things change...
For roughly eight months Kyle's been living with us. Over
the course of that time I had concerns about him and what
he was doing. He had no job but always seemed to have
money. Slept till 2 every day and she was perfectly ok
with this and expected me to be ok with it. Well you can
imagine her surprise when thanksgiving rolled around and
he got The potential consequence is 7 years and $100K.
e're spending 10K for a lawyer to keep him out of jail.
Then came the revelation that he was adicted to Oxycontin.
We manage to get him to quit taking that. There was alot
of scrambling on his behalf for therapists, doctors legal
advice, court dates. Tearfull conversations about what
he's done to himself and those around him and things
slowly started to change. We finally managed to get him a
job...despite what he thinks we found him a job. Things
seemed to be turning around, it seemed he was starting
to "get it".
As I predicted, when the situation felt less urgent he
went right back to being the intollerable prick he is. He
came waltzing in Sunday night high as a kite. He was in
the kitchen trying to make a bowl of chili. He took the
bowl out of the fridge, stared at a while and put it back
in the fridge. He returned to the bowl and was somehow
surprised to find that it was empty. It was like an
episode of Intervention...pathetic. When I recounted that
to him he laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever
heard. Nice image to put in your mother's head...asshole.
I had to point out to her that he was high and basically
told her that he needed to leave and do so immediately. I
was pissed and wasn't going to hide it. I told him that
this was about the worst thing he could have done...and he
defended it!!! He sees nothing wrong with the fact that he
smoked pot and showed up here high. She did tell him that
he needed to leave but did so in the most supportive
way...basically pampered him out the door. Some how I've
become the asshole again. I can't understand her lack of
response at this. She shows no anger to him and he thinks
that this is all ok with her. He "hates putting her in the
middle". Which insinuates that he believes that she is
somehow ok with his behavior. The last time he showed up
high he was told it was not allowed...he did it again and
the only strong message came from me. Only after telling
her this did she think to tell him that we both feel the
The fact the we're spending $10K on a lawyer over pot
doesn't seem to have worked it's way into his head.
So after a conversation with him...the contents of which I
had to drag out of her. He came home to shower after work
and offered o an appology for upsetting us... not for
getting high, not for showing up here highbut that we were
upset. I sought clarification and he basically told me
that he isn't at all sorry for getting high and he is
going to continue to smoke pot. That's all I need to hear.
So I releay this to her and she tries to defend his
psition..as usual. She tells me that he's a child, that I
misunderstood him, that he doesn't understand what he's
saying...He's going to be 21 on Thursday.
She and I went out to dinner last night to get out of the
house after his farsical apology. I was absolutely enraged
but thought I would try and hold my tongue. I didn't have
much to say but participated in conversation with her as
much as I could. I didn't really care about anything we
talked about. It took all I had to not bring up the
elephant in the room. She eventually commented on my lack
of enthusiasm and criticized me for for how I was
handluing myself. So the night before I was wrong for
displaying my anger, last night I was wrong for trying to
contain myself. Then I was accused of trying to intimidate
him Sunday...and apparently her on many occasions. I
denied that the thought ever entered my head but she has
once again, in a vaccuum decided that her point of view is
fact. Frankly I don't think I could be more insulted by
this. Of course all of this came after her 3rd glass of
wine..."three is a magic number, yes it is"