My Thoughts
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2010-03-23 08:22:32 (UTC)


Over the years I have been through the downs of being over
weight and I have paid the price for the way I am. I have
always tried to fit in and make sure that everyone else I
happy with me because I have been scared that I am a
disposable friend. Someone that my friends wont miss, but
I have sort of realised just today is that maybe me being
the way I am has enabled me to see other people’s true
colours, the colours that people who aren’t like me don’t.
Don’t get me wrong if I could have changed the things in
my past and been a different person right now I would, but
maybe because I can’t go back I should just embrace the
experiences I have had and take on the lesson that it has
taught me. Move on and grow and leave all the shitty
things that have happened behind me not in-front of me
reminding me everyday. I have great friends and I have a
great family and I am lucky to be the way I am cause I
could be so much worse off, but in a way I am worse off. I
am my own worst nightmare I am depressed, I don’t want to
live, I want to escape this world and never come back… so
I don’t know how much worse things could get in my life. I
hope things starts looking up somehow cause if they don’t
I really don’t think I can continue living. I hate myself,
who I am, what I look like. I wish I was different and
that things could have turned out differently.

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