alice

Pieces
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2010-03-23 01:29:57 (UTC)

Penis

I want a fucking penis so badly.

Not on me OBVIOUSLY.

Not even in me. Though that would be preferred.

Just to know that I CAN have one in me. You know?

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

Flying solo. The dateless wonder. Living it up single.
Lonely. Whatever you wanna call it, I am boyfriendless and
HATING IT.

This is the prime of my life people! The point where my
hormones are at their peak, their best. And here I am,
without a guy, letting them go to waste. What a waste.

And then there's those, ie Melissa, who are fortunate to
have a boyfriend, but STILL let it go to waste! The second a
guy takes a second look at me, I am JUMPING ON IT.

Let's use the metaphor of... food. Everyone can relate to
food! So a penis/boyfriend is cheese and the girl is the
mouse. Mice are OBSESSED with cheese. They are born, search
for cheese, find cheese, eat cheese, search for more cheese,
etc. Then they die, doing one of the above activities, most
likely. Well anyways, I'm like a mouse. I'm searching for
cheese. Now doesn't it make sense that once I find the
cheese that I eat ALL of it? Just in case another mouse
steals the cheese half way through eating it, or I lose the
cheese, or something like that. And I'd be so desperate for
that cheese I just wouldn't be able to contain myself! It's
just common sense.

I really don't understand why I am cheeseless, so to speak.
I'm a pretty good looking mouse, got the brains, the
personality. And it's really not a matter of not having
found the right type of cheese, oh no, I've seen PLENTY of
cheese that I would enjoy eating.

Okay, this cheese/mouse metaphor has gone a bit too far.

Point is, I'm sick of being single and if a guy doesn't take
an interest in me soon, I might just have to become a
lesbian or an asexualist. Problem is, I don't really want to
date a chick, and I really like penises.

And I won't rest until I get the penis I deserve!


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