CityGirl69

The Secret Life Of The American Teenager
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2010-03-23 01:29:49 (UTC)

Getting Started

Well. Im in highschool and a sophmore. im 15 (almost 16)
and its hard. i have the maturity leve of a 30 year old
because it feels as if i raised myself but i can be very
immature at times. ive lived ALL over and i have the
ability to keep my head high no matter what. on the
outside everyone knows me as the pretty girl who is always
smiling and happy and loud but on the inside im a mess. i
cry in front of knowone because i grew to learn that
crying shows a sign of weakness, weak people dont get
respect so i keep it bottled up. my grandmother raised me
and i grew to know her as my mom... she died. so now im
with my real mom and we are currently in the process of
rebuilding our relationship. i have a stepdad and a little
sister. my stepdad bitches and yells 24/7 and my sister is
just annoying. so i feel as if im a loner in this house. i
fell like all day i have to hide out in my room because if
not all i do is get bitched at and picked on. they dont
understand how much it bothers me and if i try to tell
them i just get yelled at and told that i over exagurate
everything. the only person that i can remember always
being there besides my grandma is my grandpa. we share a
bondd like no other. he's my grandpa, my father, my friend
and my hero well he's got a new wife who hates me so we
dont see eachother very often. things have just been
falling apart lately. i think about how when i was a
little girl i used to be so excited to be a teenager. oh
god i just could not wait! in my mind being a teenager was
just the best! well i hate it. i would give anything to go
back to those summers where you woke up at 6am and werent
home til 11pm and you did nothing but play outside ALL day
and never getting tired. my only get away is music. so i
try to listen to it all the time. i come off as the girl
who doesnt care what people think or say and i really dont
but my friends are quite the jokesters. and all there
jokes are always about me cause im very ditzy and the pick
on me about how "dumb" i am. im not dumb i just get
distracted easily which makes me seem dumb. its hard. it
also hard cause i had sex with someone i shouldnt have in
the wrong place and now everyone gives me shit for it and
i mean its my life they cant do anything about it but it
just buggs me. and i really liked him and everyone finding
out just ruined everyhting. i feel like my luck with guys
has ran out i dont want to change but ive been so unhappy
lately i feel like thats the only thing i can do. what do
my friends and family want me to be? this really really
smart, clean freak who does everything everyone tells me.


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