Lady Ti

Why stay??

Ever since I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me Ive
been an emotional reck. I've become someone that I dont
want to be. I feel that I have good reason to feel the way
I do but at the same time I know that it's not healthy for
our relationship. Any other time a relationship has gone
wrong or not the way I want it to go I leave, and Ive had
no problem walking away, but this time it's different.
sometimes I wish that I had the same strenght as all the
other times Ive walked away but something is keeping me
around.

I do truely hate the person that I've become. My boyfriend
deletes his browsing history, he hides his text messages,
he makes sure his phone never leaves his side. He is so
overly dramatic about it that I can't help but to notice
it. We got into it last night and he said he wanted to
break up, I hate playing the make up break up game so I
told him that I wont let that happen. I really don't know
the results of everything because he woke up happy and we
are getting along, I told him that I would stop trying to
question him everytime he is online or on his phone, but
just because I am not questioning him doesnt mean that I
am not thinking it. He has been texting all morning and
then tells me that his friends little sister is getting a
job out here and he is going to help her find an
apartment. Then he goes to take a shower and says oh! i
need to text my friend to see if he still wants to hang
out.I just have to choose to deal with it or not. Maybe
one day things will work out maybe they wont, but I feel
like Ive invested way to much time in him to just let it
all go to shit. Not to mention he gave me herpes so things
can't really get much worse from there. Im hoping.

Lady Ti