jessicaburnie

beautiful suicides
2010-03-16 09:33:13 (UTC)

meaningliess nonsense

i know that later on i will look back on these writings and
thing wtf my life was not that fucked up but for now i
really dont care my entrys are going to be confussing off
topic there will probley be no puncuation and a lot of
misspelled words but i really dont care. very resently
within the last month i broke up with my boy friend of 6
months i truly did bealive that i loved him but i had never
been with any one so long before in my life and i was so
bored and i just had to go out and meet new people he was
truly in love with me though (oh and his name is luke) but
i knew that luke was unbealivable in love with me and i
couldnnt just one day out of the blue break up with him so
one day i acted very depressed while we were talking on the
fone and he kept on asking me what was wrong so i finally
said luke i want a break i'm not breaking up with you i
just need a break even though this was the begining of my
plan to breakup with him well he took it pretty bad he
suddenly burst out crying and was begging me to not leave
him ugh it even disgust me to think about it now well to
skip all that shit i ended up having sex with this guy
named forrest while me and luke were on our break but what
luke dosent know is that i had actully planned all this out
i had planned on having sex with forrest while i was on a
break with luke so then mabey luke would juts break up with
me but little did i know that luke was so much in love with
me that he was going to fucking forgive me for cheating on
him which made me so angry i ended everything rite then and
there which of course brought on the tears and i just sat
there on the fone with him silent while he bawled his eyes
out i eventully lied and tolled him my fone was dieing so i
wouldnt have to listen to his sob storie of how much he
loved me all he every wanted when we hung out was sex thats
all he could talk about all during the week was how much he
couldnt wait to have sex on saturday but of course he would
throw in a few i love you here and there but it was so
sicking how much he annoyed me now that i look back in
retrospect but ok now back to the present i just had to get
those few details out of the way but now i'm dating jake
this unbealivable hot emo boy who is so sweet and amzing
and is 16 oh umm did i mention i was 14 but i turn 15 in
about a month but yea jake is 16 and yet hes a virgin and i
can bearly believe that i mean this guy is so drop dead
gorgeous i mean most girls would kill to even talk to a guy
like this and i still cant believe he wants me i actuly
think hes in love with me i mean he tells me it like 10
times a day and just because of the type of person he is i
think he really means it and um well i think im falling for
him too i mean i did not feel this way when i meet luke i
was very shy and a little scared about being around luke
but its all so different with jake i think he just needs to
prove himself to me and then i will truly love this guy i
mean hes already so perfect but enough about guys and
relationships i think im gonna talk about spring break now
which had finally come on thurday me and lauren my bffl are
going to the alesana concedrt at red 7 and i can not wait
im soo excited it is going to be the highlite of my spring
break even though i told jake that being with him was going
to bed the best part of my spring break i really think that
it is going to be the concert but i think im gonna go i
mean its fuckin 4:30 in the morning and im still wide awake
i mite just stay up all nite and then pop a adhd pill in
the morning to help me stay awake whatever idk yet
lifes unexpected...




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