Crystal

doodlekins
2010-03-15 16:51:14 (UTC)

...and again it's my fault

Yesterday me and my husband Michael got into a fight
((again)). I am currently unemployed for lipping off my
boss. ((It really is a long story and i feel bad and i
have apologised to my boss but the damage was done.)) He
was mad and yelling at me because I had cried earlier in
the day. Im lonely. He hates when I cry. I should be
strong suck it up this is all my fault so why cry! And
well him yelling at me made me cry more and that just
pissed him off more. I feel so bad he was doing all this
infront of Emma.((my daughter, not his)) I couldnt take it
anymore so I left I went into the pouring rain and walked,
I didnt know where to go. But anywhere was better then
there. He has apoligised said he is sorry and feels bad
but he doesnt really. he just wants me to rub his head
take care of him and after he has been mean I have backed
off and now he is mad all over again because I wouldnt rub
his head this morning and I don't work so I should be
there to take care of him. THATS WHY I CRY MY LIFE IS HIS
LIFE HE OWNS ME and takes advantage of that. I am trying
to find a job but thats not good enough for him. I am
making dinner for him everynight but my food is boring and
bland. I am cleaning but that only takes two seconds. I
walk and by the groceries but who cares? I am trying so
hard to make myself useful to him but none of its good
enough he is still mad at me. I dont know what to do. I
feel so alone.




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