The View From Down Here
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2010-03-13 02:53:19 (UTC)

3-12-10 Troubled Love

I feel like such an evil person right now. I'm in love
with two people, but I love one so so much more. The
problem is: He lives five hours away. His name is Cameron.
Then there's Ethan. I love him too, and I really care
about him. He's here, and I can see a future with him. The
time for when me and Cameron can actually be together
isn't clear, but he has completely flipped me inside out.
I just can't find another man like him. It's impossible. I
am able to see Cameron once a year, and that is when I go
to a business picnic for my mom. The first time me met, I
knew there was something about him. I just didn't know
what it was. Now I do. However, there's something going
for Ethan too. I was having an awful night getting over
this one guy, and I was praying to God for help and
guidance. Granted, I'm not an extremely religious person,
but when worse comes to worst, I know he's my only hope.
So that night, Ethan's name lit up on my phone in the
middle of my prayers and sobbing. I knew it was a sign.
That was no coincidence. My tears dried shortly after
that, and now I've come to love him. I know Cameron is the
right choice for me and everything I want, but he's not
here. Ethan is. I don't know what that means when Cameron
comes back. I don't know what I'll do between them both.
At the moment, I'm just trying to enjoy what I have. I
finally have a nice relationship, and I want it so bad.
Why does love have to be so complicated?

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