ledthetwosidedlife

A double sided Life
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2010-03-11 04:19:45 (UTC)

What is happening?

Life is an insane and beautiful wonder. However, seeing as I
have lost my only friend... I'm not sure if I adore life
anymore. She was my true friend. A unbounded sister who I
would call for if I was in pain. I have always known that
words were powerful things, but not like this! I knew my
other personality would get in the way! Saying a few words
as a simple joke has ended a friendship that is unbreakable.
She was incredible and credible at the same obscure time.
And I've lost her... After getting bullied for so much in my
life, after snapping on one child who wouldn't stop the
insolence against me, after seeing the one I loved truly
cheat on me without regarding the consequences, after a
friend now hated almost committing suicide, after all my
dread and pain, another evil occurrence happens. This is
just to intangible. This can't be real! Life isn't meant to
be lived like this! And yet every time I wake from my even
worse life in my nightmares I have to see it all again. All
I can do to stay comfortable is write my poems over and over
again. My life is miserable but nevertheless I will live it.
There are worse situations than this. Maybe I'm
weak...maybe...I just can't handle all these events in
perfect succession. I wish there was someone to talk to.
Someone who care for once about me. Instead I have to live
in my home caring for others. I'm always the one making
others smile yet...all I get in return is misery and pain. I
know it's a selfish thing to ask for something in return but
living with nothing to get out of my generosity and kindness
and not to get a single thank-you...it's...unnerving.


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