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2010-03-09 20:32:55 (UTC)

fuck, the sun should save me now

I don't believe your working, your out with her or them,
those girls, like you, you rather spend your days with the
girls, i get nothing, i get tears n loss n ahahhahahahaha
you thought you were special ahahahahhahahhahaha your just
the older woman n she is too much like mom, lets lie to
her n fight her n then say please hold me for a bit, OK,
I'm gone

you love the woman @ nite but you like what she does for
you more then you love her.

the girls need you, not the woman, what does a woman need,
the older woman. fuck, the older woman, how did this

I'm a girl who needs the same , always a girl. fuck the
older woman image.

spend your time pleasing girls @ 19 you deserve as much
support n love by 27 you should be OK without it.(yeah

ice skating romance for girls, orange juice with extra
vitamin c for girls, so, sorry your mom controls your
life, I'm sooo here for you, lets get you on the right
track girl your still a kid, let the 27 yr old collect

how did i cheapen myself with this devoting, i believe in
nothing but this pain will make me stronger but wow I'm a
fucking idiot, n i treat myself like shit justifying
neglect n pain.

dumb bitch, grow up, run away,

i miss being cared for like girls are .

i miss having a mom to hell @ me to clean my fucking room,
i miss having a mom but it's OK if you don't @ 27(right)

i miss being treated with care.

choke me, bruise me, hit me, look at me with ruff eyes n
be a tender soul to the girls, don't crush their dreams
while their sooo young n delicate.

sorry I'm ahead of their native brains, sorry i can't leak
knowledge n make you happy to not need them n not hate me
for not being dumb enough,
i should have pretended, like you pretended to be craving
more then child games n highs,n a fucking mother, I'M NOT
YOUR FUCKING MOTHER, I'm a kid leave me alone you say as
if i don't like sand castles n pillow fights anymore

i don't expect anything from anyone but me cause after 21
no one thinks u need shiny happy sweet playful love n
attention giving love to all those girls, nothing for me

i need to move away, i hate everything this as expected me
to be , I'm just the same as my
11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21 yr old self but with more
pain n losses n neglect.

i hate having to hate myself for not being dumb or loss ed
or needy enough for you

this is my nightmare.... i have to stay busy n not wait
for you while your pimping n charming n dinning n loving n
not missing n not included me with new friends n
adventures, you must think I'm tooo old to want any of it.

how sad for me , how empty for me , fuck me, you crybaby
bitch what did you want to be treated like a little
dollbaby or woman or girl or goddess, why can't i be all
of the above n not pick one.

when i stop feeling sorry for myself i can survive

love is giving n bleeding n the blood dries.

I'm OK, stop, crying n shaking n turning into a baby, I'm
OK, this is only making me stronger, i don't need to read
your messages anymore to know what your interested in
right now........... i learned, i give away to much woman,
I'm showing the girl cause you hate the woman n now i hate

i want to leave for south America tonite n never feel this
empty again

i don't need u to be my lover, we can be friends, u can be
everything to them, have fun in your new bed n dealing
with girls moms, you love the drama it makes u feel like a
kid, you scared man n save child.

i feel the same

so what have you learned from your time with me.
older women are great fucks n girls r fun to play daddy

if i older women wants orange juice she can grow a tree n
a girl need you to find the one with extra vitamin c n
bring it to her.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N ME n this fucking world for making you think this way,
its not your fault, it's what they show u

I'll stay silent

older woman, I AM NOT!!! DAMMIT, I'm a girl/woman with a
fucking soul n I'm sensitive too

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