SoCali07

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2010-03-09 18:20:52 (UTC)

Songs of Life

“I’ve been addicted to you” James Blunt

He was the one for me. I was always so damn sure of that…
but not now. Now I don’t know what to think. He hurts me
so much and makes me feel like crap…but I used to think he
was my other half…the yin to my yang. But he isn’t…or is
he. I’m so confused…why couldn’t he just make me happy.
Why did it always have to be a fight…why couldn’t he just
be a good boyfriend. He puts everyone else first…well not
first cause he’ll always be his number one. But I’m always
last when it comes to him. I wonder if he ever loved me…I
think in the beginning he did…once upon a time. Not in the
end though…I think he was just comfortable.

“Raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts” Lady Gaga

He left me speechless the first time he told me he loved
me. I felt so undeniably special and loved. I cried that
night though…one of many nights I cried. I guess it wasn’t
totally his fault…it was some other girl…his friend I
guess…she made me cry. He was there to comfort me…but new
years was already ruined. Another holiday…supposed to be a
happy occasion…ruined. He never cared…not enough to
actually make the effort to stop things like that from
happening…sometimes he would comfort me but mostly he
would get mad when I was sad or upset.

“Wish I was older” James Blunt

I would go out with him every weekend…if I were old
enough. That’s always his excuse for why we’d never hang
out on weekends or go to parties and other stuff. Cuz I’m
only 20...not 21. God forbid he do something underage for
me. I know better than to take him to a club again…it was
so embarrassing. He got entirely too drunk and made an ass
of himself. But there’s other stuff we could have done…
parks and museums and stuff. But of course he would never
go there…he’s “above” things like that. He would never do
anything active…at least not with me. He took some girl
ice skating when we were on a break. I used to ice skate
when I was younger…I would have loved that.

“Don’t be fooled by all my tears cause everything is fine”
Selena Gomez

I don’t miss you…I really don’t miss you. I miss the
person you could be on occasion. The man you could become…
I caught random glimpses of him. I tried to hold on to
that image…to the hope that you would become that man for
me. But I’m not the girl that brings out the best in you.
I’m the reason your always so angry and you’re the reason
I’m so miserable. Even when were together I’m miserable…
were each others worst button. We push and push neither of
us realizing if one day we stopped pushing we’d peacefully
fall in place. But it will never happen…at least not with
each other. Maybe someday though…but for now I don’t miss
you.

“Won’t sign away my life to someone who’s got the flava
but don’t have no follow through” Lady Gaga

I don’t want a paper gangster. I don’t want someone so
entirely engrossed in constantly making money and
benefiting himself. What about everyone else…not just me
but everyone else in the world. That’s right I forgot you
don’t care about the rest of the world you only care about
bettering yourself and the hell with the people who have
nothing and can do nothing to better themselves. You’ll
see one day I’ll be great…I’ll be known for my kindness
and for helping others. I am not selfish and I do care! We
are one world…we may look different, sound different…but
were all people and we all deserve some kindness in our
lives.

“I can’t be what you want me to be” Selena Gomez

I wont apologize for not being her. For the first seven
months of our “relationship” you lied and told me that you
and her were dating. Do you have any idea what that did to
me. Do you care? You tried so damn hard to make me like
her…didn’t you realize I’d lose myself. I could never be
her…I’m not her! You said you wanted me because I was
different than the people you were used to…are you happy
now that I’m just like them.

“I wish I could choose between heaven and hell” James Blunt

Its just tears and rain…goes along with the pain you made
me feel. Over and over and over again for two and a half
fucking years! What did you gain out of my pain….how did
you benefit from it! Did it make you happy…did you get
some sort of sick thrill out of it? Did you get what you
wanted…used me up till all that’s left is a broken empty
heart. That all that’s left…everything else is gone. I’m
like a car running on empty.

“I want you love” Lady Gaga

So caught in our ban romance…you always pull me back in. I
know its partially my fault…I let myself get pulled back
in. I have a strong mind but an even stronger heart. I
believe in love! I don’t care what happened with my
parents…or yours. I BELIEVE IN LOVE! People want people…no
one wants to be alone. And no matter how much money you
have or how many things and people you can buy…without
love its an empty meaningless life indeed. How can you not
see that? How can you not know that your life will have
nothing. Money can buy happiness and people…but it can
never buy the kind of love I give…the kind of love that is
gone from our generation. My love is real…wholesome and
pure…no matter what you think of me…I’m still the better
person out of the two of us.

“I’m beautiful, incredible. He cant get me out of his
head” Orianthi

According to you I cant do anything right…but did it ever
occur to you that you’re the only one that thinks that
way. You always get on me about how I don’t do anything…
and even when I was taking care of my grandmother…which
btw was very hard both physically and emotionally…you told
me I do nothing for the world. But what you really meant
was I do nothing for you…what I did was for my family so
they wouldn’t have to. I took that responsibility on
myself and held to it till the very end. What have you
done than can even compare to what I’ve done in my life.
Do you even know who you are…so fake and full of lies and
bullshit…I may be weird and different but at least I’m
real. And I know I’m not the only one who thinks so.

“He ate my heart…he ate my heart…he ate my heart…he ate my
heart out” Lady Gaga

You are a monster…the way you repress me…push me down. Its
like your always trying to crush my spirit…you’d think a
guy like you would like a girl with a little fire in her…
but no you want a dull dead lifeless brainless whore. And
I am not about to let you or anyone dumb me down…I am
intelligent and damn proud of that fact…now I agree I may
not be intelligent when it comes to my heart but I am
intelligent. A hell of a lot more than you are. I go to
school…I’m going to finish college and I’m going to be
great someday. I’ll be published and world known…you’ll be
a bartender at a bowling alley…enjoy! Someday you’ll
realize what a monster you are…for what you tried to do to
me.

“I want you so badly…it’s my biggest wish” Black Eyed Peas

I miss all those things we used to do…back when we got
along. I tried to work with you…to meet you halfway…but
you wouldn’t have that for a minute. Its your way or no
way at all…there is no halfway point with you. Do you
realize that…how selfish you are. You can never compromise
and you can never see when your wrong…or admit it. Your
not always right…and you didn’t have to be with me…that’s
the point of being in a relationship with someone…to work
together and to have an answer when the other doesn’t…or
to figure things out together. But no you couldn’t meet me
halfway…it was easier for you to walk away from me then to
put aside your pride and work with me. That’s fine though…
cause what sane girl wants to be with a guy so pigheaded
and stubborn that they cant work with them….only walk away.

“I’m so much better without you” Demi Lovato

How do you always get here under my skin…every time we
break up I know it’s the last time…yet we always start
again. I know that I should say goodbye but you make it so
damn hard. Its always the times I debate what to do next
that you show me the little glimpses of the man you could
be…and being so naïve before and so young and stupid I
always fell for it. Not this time though…I’ve cleaned you
out of my head…I refuse to think if we got back together
again…we cant go again. I’m tearing you out of my heart
this time…I’m learning and this time I know we cant go
again. I’ve just got to let you go…and you got to let me
go. that’s the way its got to be.

“Send in the clowns” Judy Collins

The shows almost done…the man that I want isn’t mine.
Don’t you know that…you cant be mine until you want to be
mine. I thought you’d want what I want…but you don’t want
the same things…you want a life of money and riches and
the best things you can ever have. I would live poor and
dirty if it meant being with someone I love. Because
that’s sacrifice and sometimes you have to sacrifice
something to make you happy. I bet you didn’t know that…
that you have to give to get. Life isn’t going to work
unless you give a little…you’ll never find love or
happiness unless you can give something. Oh but that’s
right…you have nothing substantial…something non-tangible…
to give anyways.


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