americangirl

Escape from Nothingness
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2010-03-04 23:35:41 (UTC)

Stuck in the rut

okay, i've decided to do this diary thing (against my
better
judgement, i might add) because for the past month or so i
have started to become utterly aware of my aloness. i've
found myself questioning the point of everything in my
life. i'm not suicidal or anything, but it's just so
painfully clear that nobody gives a shit! that my
existance really makes no difference to anyone!
i've been seeing a couselor for the last 3 monthes or so,
and i kinda looked at it as a wellness class. at first it
was kinda nice and i felt like i was learning something
about myself, or rather learning different behaviors that
i could change or work on, but i'm just sick of it now.
it's really pathetic that i need to pay to have someone to
talk to, someone who really has no vested interest in
whether im happy with my life or not.
so yeah, here i am, trying this dumb diary thing. maybe
writing out my issues will be theraputic for me and i'm
sure when i go back and read everything i've written in a
year from now, it will just confirm what i've always
thought about myself...yeah, you're a lunatic!


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