simply me

my wee diary
2010-02-28 00:55:05 (UTC)

rewind me

i'm sure that lonliness comes in cycles , maybe it's just
a glimpse of an old flame , in my case two , not that i'm
proud of myself , being dumped on the divorce pile and i
may say through no fault of myself , well , i never
wondered , but i do seem to be taking it out on every
female who comes into my wee cave . i always keep my cards
close to my chest , i've been told i'm pleasing on the eye
but i question that , i think to look good you have to
shine from within , i don't shine too bright , but most
women just look at the surface , i've been around the
block a few times so i know the score , for some reason
i can look beyond the razz ma tazz of beauty , i go
straight for the soul , maybe it's the ability to say no
to any woman that makes me interesting , some women are so
shallow ,they hate been told no , so i just play the
game ,a game i will always win , i'm not happy about it
when i sit and think about it , from a guys point of view
i should be having a great time but alas karma has a
terrible way of getting even , it eats at the heart.
i've giving up on relationships , well conventional
ones , whats the point , my heart hasn't exactly been on
my sleeve, whats left of it , why should it be , if i
meet a woman who deserve's my heart she will have it ,
until that day i'll be on my own , i'm not sure thats too
sad , maybe to some but once you have had your heart
broken you never fully recover, it's not easy to let go ,
it doesn't jutify my wee trail of distruction though , the
older i get the further my heart sinks inside my shell ,
the easier i find myself walking away . i'm a master , i
do get some strange tx's though , like i say , women hate
the word no .. but the physical side of a relationship
does temp me , don't know many men who can say no to
everything . maybe i need to become a monk .. maybe i just
need a good woman , there must be one out there , i'll not
hold my breath though , i can handle being on my own , i
can trust me , for now anyway , lets see what karma has in
store for me , to be honest , i can handle karma . i do
deserve the pain that comes my way from time to time ,
every action has a reaction , everything goes hand in
hand , day goes to night , water goes to air , dark goes
to light , joy goes to pain , maybe i should read that
backwards , it could read better .
i do understand the concept of healing , time heals ,
talking heal's , , opening up heals , so far it hasn't
worked but you just never know ,
when i think ,i have to blink ,
when i feel , my heart you'll steal
when i sleep , i'm yours to keep
when i rise , you'll see my eyes
you'll soon know if i'm a prize




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