Billabonic

Life Among The Selected Few
2010-02-15 00:39:34 (UTC)

Hello? Tech Support!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and
can't get through; Can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: ' Sir, those are the hours that we
are open..'


Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for
Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you
are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide
it clearly
states 20 that I need to unplug the fax machine from the
AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now,
can you give me the Number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on
the wall.'
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover
me when I am Traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling
in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to
England , do I have to change the steering
wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure
that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but
the 'B' fell off.'
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company
in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the
label -- Woven in Scotland '
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds
from a phone
box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm
steaming up the window to write
the number on.'
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'.'
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Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of
your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from
there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just
realized that I need it.. So, if I turn my system clock
back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
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I PERSONALLY LOOOOVE THIS ONE!!!

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time.
I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer
care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee
was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee. (Now I know why they record these
conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and
all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything
when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did
you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the
screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you,
it won't accept anything I Type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power
indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it
that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that
tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can
you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did
you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look
back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have
the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and
the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha.
Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the
closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your
system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose.
What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer!'




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