Life of a girl living in despair
2010-02-14 20:18:00 (UTC)

why do I exist for?

Life seem to be unfair to me, why is that? since young I
spent my days helping my mother to sell her flower ,work as
maid at 15, and wow its for my second sister the one whose
smart and never been beaten by my dad since she was young.
Mom describes her as smart, kind, generous daughter and
relatives for other but ewww... I don't think so the reason
why I am like this its because of her!! Now she's an
engineer and has a regular job but look at me I have to sell
some flesh but just online tho. I am supporting my nephew my
mom and my niece but she should be the one who do that
because mom spent her whole life for her so she can finish
her colleges degree but look.. maybe she will does it when I
am dead so no one to lean on. I am getting sick tho and this
fucking life soon will be end I hate my sister, I hate my
Mother I hate my father but still I care about them why is
that? One time I had argument to my mom she really got mad
on me and said " I should never let you born" and I replied
"I wish you really never let me born so I don't have to
suffer" I even asked her to kill me I am bad? but at the end
mom never let me go away and said sorry. Because honestly I
am willing to die because my life has no future. My friend
Tim always cheers me up tho and I am glad I have someone
like him I wish he just close to me so I have someone to hug
when I feel like I am giving up and when I have to cry.. He
has great problem too tho and I am glad he able to tell it
to me I am glad I make him happy however I dont know how
long I will be like this I just wish I can have a rest and