Highfood

Highfood
2010-02-11 01:25:24 (UTC)

You, once again.

February 1th 2010

There's no one else like you. I do not wanna get over you.
Please don't let me go. I don't know what I can offer that
another can't, to be honest. But you're all I want to
think about. You are always in my mind. You are the first
thing that cross my mind when I wake up. You are within
every single sight I let out. There is no one else I want
to take care of all my life. I would have your child if
you'd ever ask me to. You are the most beautiful person
I've ever got to see. I love everything about you. I love
your hands, your smile. I love the way you are faking
whatever you want to fake to anyone. I love that you are
so strong, and yet being so weak. I love the way you
almost never do what you say you'll do. I hate that I
screwed up the only chance I've ever had to meet someone
like you. I hate how you don't talk to me anymore, and how
you almost never did. I hate that I loved the way you made
me feel everytime you popped online on my computer. I hate
how it's never going to happen again. I don't want to
spend my life with other boys trying to give a sense to
all of this shit. I don't know how you had me. I wish I'd
know how to heal you. So that you could show me your real
smile. I bet it's even more beautiful than then your usual
one. If it is possible. I know you have no interest in
me. You never met me, and you judged me pretty fast. You
probably don't even doubt that I think about you so much,
or that when you cut the only communication we had, I
think a part of me died. A part of my life literally went
running away. I am not sure I will see it running back to
me someday. And if it does, will I be able to catch it
then? I'm not sure I can ever handle someone like you. But
I'm pretty sure I don't want to handle anyone else. But I
will have to. And I will do it. But no matter who else's
going to be on my way, there will always be a part of me
left behind with you. I am sorry I could never match you.
And it sucks that I can't tell you I love you without
looking like a psycho. I don't know if future will offer
me any kind of opportunity to meet you, or to talk to you
again. But just in case it would happen, I don't want to
ruin everything by telling you I love you now. But if I
did tell you, it would be a lot of weigh off my shoulders.
I wish I could find a way to tell you. I wish you could
read this, and answer me. Even if it's just a single
straight ''what the fuck.'' emailed at my name. So I would
know you've read it.

I think about you a lot. I dream
about you too, sometimes. Those are my favorite dreams.
Nothing special happen most of the time. I'm dreaming that
I'm at someplace with some other people, and you're there
too. And you would smile your Alex smile. I know there is
a lot of beautiful woman out there. You can sure make one
of them yours.I have no doubt on it. I don't know which
one you will pick next, Alex. But I hope ..that someday
you'll pick me.

I keep hoping ..




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