Muffins Life...
2010-02-10 07:09:49 (UTC)

I Tried To Warn Him!!

UGHHHH, thats the only thing that comes to mind right now!
He sits up stairs sleeping... and after a long ass fucking
week, i finally tell him before work today that ill go
back with him. Get home from work, for some reason check
his myspace.. gut feeling! And waka, get slammed with a
picture of a 19 year old girl... a kid basically! She
reminds me of meranda!! FUCKING CRIST!! What is wrong with
me? I should have just booted his ass to the curb! Fuck
him! Now i have to live with the memory of that pic in my
mind.. the main thing that bothers me here... im dating a
fucking kid myself!! And that only proves it. I dont think
i can do this shit anymore. I just want to find someone my
own age and get rid of him now.... Its only a matter of
time before im done with him. I am dealing with this
daily. Today was the first day i thought that i wouldnt
have to, and it hits me at work and now at home! So many
people want me... why did i deal with this shit? I have a
few guys at work hell even a girl I have the
ex husband whom i know would take me back in a
heartbeat... i have so many options... yet i sit here
typing this shit and he lays in bed and it doesnt bother
him one fucking bit. That bothers me too!! He sleeps while
i sit here trying to vent to the computer!! He cares so
fucking much right? I went days with no sleep... and he
hasnt lost a wink. gotta love it... its definatly time to
move on. He dont care about me anyways. All he cares about
is his habit and his friends. And once Skip gets home...
im going to be pushed aside once again... for the youthful
little bitch, and for skip. Whatever, i need to find a way
to move on.. even if it means finding someone else to help
get me over his ass... im done hurting all the time. Im
done sitting here with my heart wripped out while he
sleeps and dont give two shits. I heard time and time
again... im sorry and i know... but he dont have a clue!
Its ok tho, he will!! when im gone he will regret
everything he did to me. He will regret all the times that
he left me sitting here waitin on him, all the nights that
all i wanted was to watch a movie, he will regret that the
day nia had surgery he was off trying to put his dick in
some other little kid! He will regret that all the times
i begged him to spend time with me and he would find an
excuse not to! Regret= even meeting me! So tired of
feeling this way!!!