Bellbird

Footprints
2010-02-10 04:01:11 (UTC)

Night Terrors

Get out of your head girl!
Plug in!

Shit, night terror's are a serious problem in my life.
Being constantly bombarded all night with scenarios, and
vivid images of my fears, makes it hard for me to function
as a normal person the next day. I'll wake up from one N.T
disorientated and upset, fall alseep again and be consumed
by another. This sort of shit goes on all night. It keeps
Boyfriend up, and freaks the crap out of Child when she
sleeps in my bed.

I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

I have a lot of N.T's about Boyfriend. It makes him feel a
little guilty I think. In my dreams he's either cheating
on me with the girl I'm totally jealous of. Or he's raping
me, or telling me he actually hates me and abusing the
fuck out of me. All things that have happened to me with
previous men. Why does he have to pay for their mistakes?
Why do I worry about these things on a (in some cases)
subconscious level? I've spoken about my ego, my
insecurities, jealousy, rah rah rah...in the hopes of
trying to get them out of my head. And yet, they still
haunt me!

Healthy mind...repeat repeat repeat.

I'm going to write a 'Fuck' poem now




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