Erika831

the Secret life of Erika
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2010-02-08 04:33:09 (UTC)

day 2

well one nights sleep doesnt make much difference in the
how confused i still am.
still thinking about him, knowing that i shouldnt be.
tired of this feeling of sadness and being alone.
but the people i can be with or the ones that "say" they
want to be with me.
are either 1 players 2 liars 3 worthless, jobless douche
bags.
it just seems to be so pointless to even bother dating
around here. there isnt really any guys worth anything. and
the ones who are, are too shy to talk.
so you never know who they are.
but the whole staying home not dating thing isnt good for
you either.
we are meant to be around other people, to flirt, to have
fun. to be happy.
so we are meant to go out there and date.
that doesnt mean sleep with everyone you meet but flirt
have fun.
not every guy you date or every relationship you have is
meant to end in marriage or meant to last forever.
you meet many people in your life that are just meant to be
steping stones.
so how do you know which ones to move past and which ones
were you meant to stop at?
its so confusing, hard and just blah!
but either way you decide it always ends up being the wrong
choice.
all i know is maybe what we had wasnt perfect but i still
care and maybe it never was a relationship but i fell
inlove with our friendship.....too bad no one even him
could ever know that.
just to hear him lie or whatever he calls it, if he were to
find out and if he were to feel the same way.
i still couldnt deal with it.
and yea maybe im rushing the other one to come see me to
get other this one but is that so wrong?
i feel like i know everything about him yet nothing at all
at the same time.
it runs through my mind all day.....
is he really coming this time?
does he really still or ever love me like he says?
can you really love someone you have never met before?
and why do i feel i have to hold my tounge so that we dont
fight without even being in a relationship?
either way all this cant leave this site or my head.
it has to stay in the secret life of erika.


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