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2010-02-07 23:53:38 (UTC)

My babys daddy

The title sounds ghetto I know but hey its the truth, thats
all he is. Almost everyday when I look at my daughter I
think "Damn it, I can not believe I have a child by this
man." What pisses me off is not the fact that I dumped his
ass before I found out i was even pregnant, its the fact
that we were only together for a month and a half. I feel
so stupid for getting myself in this position. I dumped him
because he has a drinking problem (which he doesnt admit
to) then through my pregnancy he would call like every 2
months or so drunk then I just cut him off 100% at like 6
months pregnant and wouldnt answer any of his phone calls,
because I didnt give a damn about anything that he had to
say to me. He wasnt contacted when I gave birth to her,
when she had to go to NICU for a week, or when she came
home. We literally just talked on Friday for the first time
without me having to cuss him out, and shes 7 weeks now!!!!
He hasnt even seen her face to face only has a picture I
sent through my cell phone. He told he he wasnt going to be
a dead beat dad, and I want to believe that he is going to
be there for her, but I'm just not ready to give him credit
yet. I know I should be positive, but hes fucked up so many
times before. Its already been 2 days and he hasnt even
calle to check up on her to see how shes doing and i feel
some type way about that. Its just not what I expected, I
always thought that I would be in a loving relationship
with the father of my child, married in are own house.
Funny how life works out. If he doesnr step up like hes
suposed to then it off to the court house I go to file for
child support. (which isn;t always 100% either)