The Missing Flames
2010-02-07 05:14:27 (UTC)

Tears of Secrets

About 10 years ago, when I was in Kindergarden, I met
this girl, Meg, on the bus. We started sitting together
and talking together. Soon after that, we were
inseperable. She lived right down the street so we got
together every other day. A few years later, her father
passed away. She was devistated, and I couldn't imagine
what it must have felt like to lose someone so close,
especially someone you are used to seeing everyday, some
that took care of you. The only close person I hade ever
lost was my grandmother on my dad's side of the family.
But when she passed away, I wasn't even a year old and she
had such horrible memory loss that she didn't even know
who I was.
About a year after that, my family moved away to sunny
Virginia. But just before then, when we were still living
in Minnesota, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.
We left for Virginia anyway. After staying there for two
years, my mother couldn't take it. We moved back to
Minnesota so she could be close to family and the Mayo
Clinic. In that time period, my other grandmother, my
mom's mom, passed away after a freak blood vessal popped
in her brain. My grandmother was burried in a cemitary
near her house in Missouri. We would visit it and my mom
pointed to the spot next to it saying, "That is where i'm
going to be burried, right next to Mom." I would just
shake my head clear of those nasty thoughts of having to
live without her. I didn't think it could ever happen to
A few years later, my mother lost the battle. It was
the hardest thing I ever had to face. For about two weeks
I thought I was living in a dream, that I could just wake
up and jump into my mother's arms and tell her that I
loved her. But I couldn't. July 23rd, 2007. That was the
day she passed away. July 23rd, the day after my 12th
birthday. Dad tried to comfort me by saying, "See what she
did? She held on one extra day just for you!" It was true.
My mother was a fighter. When I was little, I never
realized how much pain my mother was in. I never saw her
cry. I never saw her complain. For a month or so she
couldn't get out of bed, but she never showed any sign of
weakness in front of me. She is the strongest person I
Meg and I kept in touch over the years. I was now 14
and so was she. Next thing we knew, our parents were
dating in secret. I would have taken it better, if I
didn't have to figure it out by myself. Meg's mother,
Linda, is great and amazing, but everything went downhill
from there.
I went from a family of four, my mom (Jody), dad
(Dave), brother (Ryan), and I to a family of eight. In
order of age: Linda, Dave, Meg 15, Me 15, Lizzy 13, Ryan
11, Erik 10, Anthony 8. And our dog, Brody, who has been
alive longer than I have! My dad proposed to Linda on my
mother's birthday. And now we are all living together. I
had to switch schools, so did Ryan. I have never cryed so
much in my life. I normally won't write as much, but I
have a lot to say.
Dad and Linda are always leaving us to go to dinner
because "They need a break." They need a break? They both
work! They arn't the ones stuck with all these kids! And
you would hate your life, too, if you were stuck with
these kids!
Meg, she isn't too bad, but sometimes I want to kill
myself. She finds every oportunity to start a fight. And
she cries over everything! Example:
MEG: Why did you open a new bottle of shampoo!!!
TAYLOR: I couldn't find the other one.
MEG: Did you even look!!!
TAYLOR: Yeah, where was is?
MEG: In our parents bathroom!!!!
TAYLOR: How was I sapposed to know that?
MEG: I don't know! You could have asked!!
TAYLOR: You were gone.
Not only that, but she snores. I know it isn't really
her fault, but I have to share a room with her and I have
to wear ear plugs. Lizzy, isn't that bad either but, like
Meg, she pokes my biggest pet peeves. I can't stand it
when people chew their gum loudly. It gaves me a headache
and makes me cry (litterally forces tears out of my eyes.)
They do it anyway. Erik is just plain stupid. Like
everyone calls him "The Science Guy" because he says a
bunch of facts about random shit, but all of his facts are
completely wrong! Like once he was talking to someone and
he was like, "Yeah but it's okay cuz Hitler got hanged."
What is this kids problem!!!! God damn it! And Anthony is
just a friggin' jerk! He never has anything nice to say
about anyway. I wanna smack him across the face. Which I
would do, infact I would do this to all of them, but they
would all start crying... yes, all of them. They are also
the biggest babies on this planet.
Oh, and wanna know something else that's just
fantastic? Meg is in all enriched classes and gets
straight A's. Of cource me, feeling like an idiot,
couldn't take those classes for my life. I'm already
getting a little confused about regular classes. But
becuase of this, people automatically assume that I am
this horrible person and Meg is the all star perfect kid.
They think she is responsible, she loses everything,
honost, she sold me out to save her butt, and selfless,
she is probably the most selfish person I have ever met.
We both wanted something, and so we flipped a coin (her
idea) I won so I chose what I wanted. She broke down
crying saying, "Oh my God, Taylor! That is so unfair!" The
parents heard, she got her way.
Once again, I am sorry that my first entry was so
long. I just wanted you to get the background information
before I got too far in. But now I am going to bed. Good