the_elsinatr

PenMuse
2010-02-07 01:07:22 (UTC)

A February Saturday

Ok, I'm almost done my fifteen (actually eight) pages of
math and my mother has been talking to this woman in Florida
from 10:30 till 3:30 and I NEED to ask her one goddamn
question but apparently talking to this woman in frickin'
Florida is WAY more important than my education. I WAS going
to take a walk for exercise, but I have a lot of crap to do
and my dad already went for a walk so this is stupid shit.
In school yesterday I only have four people including me in
my Religion class, which damn killed me when I found out,
because I thought I was in the wrong classroom. I thought it
was day one on the schedule, but I was wrong.

I don't know why so many people hate M. Beaudoin's guts.
He's one helluva math teacher. Knows whatever he's talking
about so well, you'd've thought he was a frickin' textbook.
It was so stupid yesterday, cause my parents just left me at
6 for this propmaking session for my filipino dance group
and they didn't come home till around 12:30 in the fucking
night. It was annoying, because I don't even know why I'm in
that goddamn dance group; they fucking hate me and I can see
it in their eyes. It's so frickin' hilarious. I don't know
why. I mean, I know these people since I was five and they
still treat me like a fucking leper. They can go to hell or
whatever it is I don't give a shit. We're going to Spain, my
group and I. It'll be such an embarassment. I'll probably
come home in tears and anger because they're such pricks and
they'll probably won't talk to me or even realize I'm there.
Stupid fucking pricks.

Anyways the school dance is coming up, which is a real joke
and most of the guys in the school are really douchebags.
They either smell like crap or have too much perfume in
their goddamn system. Why did I come to this school anyways?
It's such a stupid underpaid ghetto school, no joke. There's
only four people in fucking religion for christ's sake!
Really, this is all a tease. PLUS, valentine's day is coming
up, so you can bet I'll be celebrating Chinese New Years
instead of that other blasted holiday!...if any one of my
classmates tries to prank me this week, I'll blast their
ears off. That'll be a sight xD.

My year's gonna suck balls so much, I'll probably implode
from all the stress and the bull. Mark talked to me
yesterday and I swear that kid made me want to strangle him!
He has no shame! Fucking flirting with your ex-girlfriend
won't get you any points! Stupid people. He's in this high-
and-mighty highschool and it makes me puke. One of my dance
group members who treats me like dung will be going to that
school next year. She's a real bitch.

My band is doing okay, although I think the only people who
are interested in it is me and Mika. Seriously her friend
Rachel is so shy she could make a hyena fall asleep! She
looks so boring and she probably was bored the whole goddamn
time, but I didn't want to mention it to Mika because she's
Rachel's friend. I went on Facebook the other day and my
slutty 'friend' Tani is apparently bitchin' at this other
girl once again. She's probably 'in love' with a new guy,
again. That's the third time this week. She screws 'em,
dumps 'em, types up a load of shit on Facebook, bitches at a
girl and then puts up that she's in a relationship again.
That's one messed up child if I ever saw one.

Katarina's in France now. I sort of miss her. She's such a
good listener, she's like a personal soundboard. Just
absorbs whatever you have to say without patronizing you.
Such a sweetie. Well I won't be seeing her till May, which
is a bummer since she'd get a real riot over the fact that
there's only four people in my religion class. In other
words, she'd just laugh and say 'ohmygosh' and then smile
and then that's it. But when she does that, you can tell it
almost killed her with laughter. And she's so smart, she
saved my hide in Science this term, although I got the
crummiest mark ever and had to string up a few lies in order
to prevent my mom going ape-shit over my ass.

I'm reading 'Catcher in the Rye'. It's such a good book,
honestly I know it goes on and on but seriously Holden
Caufield is like me, turned into a guy. And he doesn't give
a shit when he horses around. I horse around, but in
private. Although my mom caught me the other day, singing my
head off and strumming an invisible guitar. She didn't care,
she just told me I forgot to close the goddamn door and got
all serious and stuff. When I heard her say that, the only
thing that popped in my head was "Oh shit." It was funny.

This is stupid. I'm starting to get anal about organization
and my mom's anal about organization, but seriously she's
been on the phone since Christ was born and it's driving me
up the wall, what with her speaking all 'filipino' and
laughing and repeating mao lagi or whatever that means.
She's not doing any work at all, you can tell. She just
writes things down on a paper and speaks in 'filipino' with
this woman from Florida and....this is horrible. SHE'S the
one going crazy about organizing your time but right now
she's taking the whole day talking to this woman when in
fact she should've been gone hours ago to do some shopping.
And then she says that it's good that my piano's in the
morning or else she wouldn't be doing things the whole day.
She's proven her point. BUT SHE should at least do something
about not getting ready for things unless I have piano at
nine in the goddamn morning. This is so fucking stupid.

I've been listening to the same music over and over again
and now I wish I had a job so I could buy more music but NO,
I have no fucking time anymore. I should quit improv, but in
drama in school we're only doing "technical theater" and the
only time I get to do drama is during improv AFTER SCHOOL
and it's right before filipino dance practice and I get
tired as hell and I get so cranky and cynical and damn
sarcastic, that I can't even breathe.

I've been typing this diary entry in my computer for so
long, because I can't get on the internet cause we're so
ghetto and the only internet we have is a dial-up
connection, which means if I dial then my mother will get
cut off from that lady in Florida and she'll go ape-shit
over my ass. SO here I am bored out of my skull, not feeling
like doing shit cause I was doing a goddamn schedule, which
my mom had to fucking wreak just because of a lady in
fucking Florida.

There's this boy who's running around and he just fell on
top of this huge-ass snowdune outside of the garbage dump
outside of my apartment. I wish I was still a kid again,
because I try so hard to be patient and normal but sometimes
I feel like screaming and handing people their asses
sometimes. Some people are so egocentric and bratty in my
class and so slutty too because in Math class some people
were commenting on how much action Shadi was getting a day.
I could tell they wanted to have sex with him so badly it's
not a joke anymore. Shadi is one helluva person though. If I
was his girlfriend he'd probably start patronizing me in the
middle of our action probably. That's the kind of guy Shadi
is; nice and sarcastic, throws chairs around, but very
patronizing. He'd most likely make snide comments about how
bad I 'am' in bed. Not that I've ever had any experience in
that domain. I'm a fucking nerd, who would wanna sex me up?
Not that I'm into that. I'm asexual and slightly pansexual,
which means I appreciate anything sexy, but I don't get
horny over it. I'm never horny, unless there's this amazing
book. I'm so effed up it kills me sometimes. I'm also one
secretly lousy kid, cause if my mom or dad ever knew what I
get up to on the internet and at school, they'd tan my hide
like hypocritical conservatives.

Oh, the Olympics in Vancouver are going to be so hilarious.
I'll be laughing when they close almost all their venues due
to the snow melting more than falling on the ground.
Canada's gonna be a laughing stock and everyone in the
world'll laugh, even though I live in Canada, but I don't
give a hoot if they laugh at me. It doesn't concern me,
since I don't participate in the Olympics (that'd be a cold
day in hell before I get into shape) and I really don't care
for things that are organized by a common Calgarian hobo who
just happened to have Slytherin qualities, who prerogues
parliament so that he doesn't get kicked out of the
government and onto the street with his blond-haired, blue
eyed kids he shakes hands with all the time. That's how much
I love Harper.

It's funny. My friends have no clue who I am and I'm such a
terrific liar, just like Holden. We're a great pair, if he
ever existed. Once I convinced my whole junior high that I
slept with a black guy who was sixteen, had leukemia and
visited the city every now and then, and then he died. Even
my oldest friend believes that story. I'm such an ass,
aren't I. But it's true, I can convince anyone anything. I
could probably make my ex believe that I'm a prostitute and
sell my body for cash on the street. He'd believe me. It's
true, this isn't bull at all. I'm that good a liar. Except
sometimes I stumble, for example, when I lie to my mom. She
gets this steely glint in her eye when she knows I lie to
her. And then I get into deep shit and she goes on and on
and on and tells me to call her on the phone so she could
lecture and scream at me in front of all her coworkers at
her accounting job so that they think I'm a problem child.
Which isn't true, because if I was, I'd be doing everything
I'd've thought of doing in my head and I'd probably be in
jail right now, instead of typing on this website like some
one-eyed freak.

FINALLY MY MOM'S OFF THE PHONE!...then she goes and says bye
in fifty different languages. I hope I don't become like
that, ever.

...and I found out that I knew how to do the damn math
problem without her help. What a fucking day.




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