lilv13t402

Memories
2010-01-29 08:41:23 (UTC)

January 29, 2010 - Learning To Be Direct

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was such an interesting day. Learning to have
courage to ask and to be direct about one question that I
should've texted but didn't, "Do you love me? [friend or
more]".

"Friend." he replied.

I don't know what exactly I feel right now. It's all a mix
of emotions. I feel relieved but yet on the verge of tears.
Because I can gladly move on with my Seattle life? Because I
can love other people without feeling obliged to one person?
Because of his answer that we're just friends? Because I've
finally grown to be direct and courageous with my questions?
Because I had the support of my friends that I never had
before when dealing with a relationship? or all of this?..
Idk, I feel so oddly blank inside but at the same time a big
knot..

But it seems that he's making a good effort to talk to me by
saying that I'm his close friend.. and starting with such a
happy conversation. I went along.. but I wasn't sure if my
conversation was real or a cover-up. I was for the first
time, slightly annoyed when talking to him.

But a friend told me it's a normal reaction. I hope so, so
that this weird feeling can go away soon.

I hope that I can adjust to all of this soon.

♥jh




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